Attention.
Yesterday I wrote about influence. It was the first topic that came to mind when I thought of a word to write about, and I wrote about it for two days. I thought I might continue writing about influence today also, but I guess I just don’t feel up to it today. I’ve decided to write about attention instead. It just came to mind and I decided to go with it. Anyway, attention is great when we want it, but not so much when we don’t. Some people go their entire lives trying to stay low-key, while some are always following the latest trends or doing outrageous things, posting every second of their lives online trying to get attention from everyone else. In today’s digital world, social media has a lot of people constantly seeking attention and validation from others, and the worst part is that some people, being desperate for attention, are willing to copy dangerous behavior they see on the internet, since they see the massive amount of attention being directed towards whoever initially did it. I guess there’s one last note on influence, just to finally finish off that topic. Honestly though, I can’t blame people for wanting attention, since we’re all living in a society which is dangerously deprived of intimacy, as well as true connection and trust. We all want to be acknowledged in some way, and that includes myself. The thing is that we are all so busy trying to be acknowledged, that we forget to acknowledge anyone else. Since most of us are all caught up in the happenings of our own lives, everyone ends up getting ignored, and the vicious cycle continues. One of the reasons I really love poetry like Bukowski’s, for example, is because he speaks to that sad kind of loneliness that is always there, just in the world, always in the background but always ignored, too painful to bear or to even acknowledged. Loneliness leads many to seek attention, but it seems to me like attention might not really be the cure for loneliness. For me, one of the most painful things in life is understanding the reality that there simply isn’t enough time. We spend six to eight hours a day sleeping, which leaves us with two thirds of our life left. Of those two thirds, we spend eight hours at work, if not more, not to mention commuting back and forth, as well as taking care of ourselves and our basic everyday needs. Now we have less of a third of our day left. I won’t say it’s less of a third of our life, simply because most people have two days off work, but it’s almost that. Why do I mention this? Well, because it really is a lot of pressure, especially for someone with many varied interests. Let’s look at attention in another sense now, because this issue has a hold of my attention so often it’s not even funny, and it really contributes to a feeling of depression in my life, if I’m being completely honest. It’s so much pressure knowing there’s such limited time of life, time to spend with the people we love, time to spend doing things we love. If I feel like spending my free time fucking around with my synths, for example, I feel bad for not wanting to spend that time with my wife. If I’m mainly spending time with my wife, I start thinking all my gear is there just collecting dust, or that I should finally do some good marketing to get my music career going, or that I should be spending time with my parents or brothers. It’s a constant anxiety that I’ve been working on for years, to some degree of success, but definitely not as much as I’d like. I might go into more detail about my journey with taming my attention, or awareness, in tomorrow’s post though. I appreciate you reading.
Please check out my track ‘somewhere out there,’ produced on FL Studio 11. I appreciate you listening!
rebel eye 