Everything seems corny and stupid to write about sometimes. Every idea seems ridiculous and simply not worth mentioning. I don’t know why it happens, since other days I write the exact same kinds of random things and I feel like it’s all good, like it just works. Today it just feels weird though, like, why am I even writing this? Who’s even going to read this, and out of whoever reads this, who is even going to care? I guess I just have so much excitement in my head, always thinking about something and wanting to share it with others, whether it’s my love of literature, or music, or whatever else. I’m always trying to get my wife or my brother to get into a new book or to listen to a classic album with me, and there are just so many pieces of art that I resonate with, and that merge with my own personality and ideas in order to add meaning to my life. Fascinated really is an understatement when it comes to my general reaction to life, including everything in it and all its many connections. I don’t really understand evil and I wish it didn’t exist, but just because I find life strange and scary, even hostile, in many ways, doesn’t mean that I’m fascinated by it any less, it actually just adds to my fascination. Why is there this problem of evil when life is supposedly so good? It’s super weird and fascinating. I mean, we all know that life is full of pain and suffering, but I’ve always been under the impression that everyone’s in agreement when it comes to one thing, to life being a generally good thing. Of course, you could say some people’s lives are much better than others’, but in general, we would all agree that we like living, and we are actively doing everything we can in order to continue living. If life wasn’t agreed upon to be generally good, then most people probably wouldn’t even bother sticking around. So, I sit here and write then. Why? Because I am alive, and because life is good. Even if it feels weird, or like most people might not really care about my thoughts or what I have to say, I say fuck it, and I just write. Why? Because I’m alive, and because life is fascinating. There are too many ideas constantly floating around in my brain, and I absolutely have to keep track of as many of them as I can. Actually, it’s not really that I feel like I have to keep track of them, it’s actually that I want to keep track of them, because they all form part of the complicated and fascinating web that is my mind and my life, and that is life as a whole. I’ve always thought of setting up all kinds of experiments in my life, to see what the effects are and keep track of them, then tweak them for future versions. For example, not eating certain things for certain amounts of time, not smoking or drinking for long periods of time, or trying to do one specific thing every day and keep track for when I pass my previous record of doing that activity every day. To be honest, sometimes I wonder if I have some sort of OCD-type thing, or some other disorder or something, but I’ve never really had any testing done for anything like that, so who knows. For now, I’m just living, and that’s a wrap for today!
Please listen to my song ‘every breath is a blessing.’ I appreciate your time.
rebel eye 