Some moments are just too painful to even write about, to even attempt to contemplate or describe. Sometimes all you feel like doing is sitting there, not moving or saying a word, and staring blankly into space, simply because completely disappearing just isn’t an option. We all come face to face with moments when everything just seems like too much to bear, when life just seems way too heavy and complicated, and all our struggles feel so overwhelming, like we’re drowning in a sea of worries and we don’t know what to do to escape our fate, or if we ever will be able to. We might feel alone, even when surrounded by a bunch of people who love us, because in reality we are the only ones who know and are truly familiar with our own struggles. Moments when we repeat mistakes we should have learned to avoid long ago, and we have no choice but to sit and admit defeat, admit that maybe we are not strong enough to make a change on our own, and that it might be time to seek help. Help from who, though? That’s the issue. Even when the people around us are willing to help, sometimes they are simply not able to. It’s tough living life inside of one’s own head, constantly questioning and wondering, always reminiscing and remembering, but at the same time longing for something different and new, feeling an intense need, a burning desire, to get as far away as possible from the past and to grow into something new and improved. Growing and changing are difficult though, and they can only come about when we take things one step at a time and remain consistent, which is also very hard. Sometimes we have moments when we realized that we have failed to change, that the time when it would have been most important for us to change has passed us by. Everything can seem so sad and yet so meaningless, that we might lose our will to move forward, and our passion for doing things we once loved. I don’t know where I’m going with this, but these moments I’ve been describing are still there, within me, eating away at my happiness and not allowing me to fully live in the moment today. I hate seeing people grow older, and seeing how things have remained the same. I hate thinking about all the possibilities that were missed and that never happened, simply because one or more people involved in the situation were unable or unwilling to change. It’s also tough coming to terms with the fact that some things will actually never change. I know today’s post might seem a bit pessimistic, but I’ve been having a tough couple of days, and since I left my writing goal for the very end of the day once again, I couldn’t worry too much about what I would write, so I just let the words flow out, and this is the result.
If you have a few minutes check out my track ‘Trip to the Back of My Mind.’ I appreciate you!
rebel eye 