I have changed a lot over the years. There’s a lot I’d like to do that I haven’t accomplished yet, and there are a lot of changes I am still struggling to make, but I can definitely say I am happy with some of the changes I’ve implemented in my life up to this point, especially in terms of my attitude towards other people, as well as life in general. When I was around nine or ten, I discovered hip-hop music, and I immersed myself in it. Although these days my interest in it is nowhere near what it used to be, back then it really became the thing that I was interested in. I didn’t really know any other music, and hip-hop, with its captivating beats and interesting characters, really caught my attention. If I remember correctly, a part of me really admired the way a lot of rappers had overcome struggles in their lives, like poverty and growing up in rough neighborhoods or households. I watched 8 Mile, I would listen to 2Pac and Nas, Jay-Z, 50 Cent, G-Unit and the like, just to give you an idea. Now, I’m not saying none of these things these rappers say are at all true, but let’s just say that these days I have a much better understanding of just how fake a lot of people can be just for the sake of keeping an image up, usually for money. In other words, things aren’t always what they seem, especially in the world of entertainment, or wherever big money is involved. Now, another big reason why hip-hop appealed to me is because, ever since I was a little kid, about five or six, I would always write short poems, some with rhymes and some without. They were in Spanish because that was before my family moved to Canada, which was also when I was about nine or ten. I realized that hip-hop was exactly like what I already did, and I quickly started writing rhymes on any beats I could find. To this day, I still have a bunch of notebooks and binders filled with rhymes from those early days. Now, time to connect all of this to what I’m writing about today, how I’ve changed over the years. Well, along with my obsession with hip-hop came a very dramatic change. Up until that point, I had grown up in a conservative Christian household in a third-world country which is so dangerous that most parents wouldn’t allow their young kids to go outside on their own, and I can’t really blame them, but it definitely makes for a difference in culture. The country itself is also largely Christian, and my brothers and I grew up regularly going to church. Now, here I was, an eleven-year-old kid in a new country, about to become a teenager, and discovering new things I never knew, such as hip-hop and everything that was frequently mentioned in its lyrics. I also noticed how kids would play outside a lot more, and I understood that this place was much safer, which is a huge part of why we moved here in the first place. This meant that I could finally explore. Now, although some of the things I admired about rappers were indeed noble things, like overcoming struggles and such, a lot of other things that I started thinking were cool because of hip-hop, are things that I don’t think are even remotely cool now, and which I would in fact be quick to condemn. I won’t say this is the case when it comes to something like weed, because I still enjoy it and do think it has its place in the world, as long as it’s used responsibly and not abused, but the general glorification of both using and selling drugs, which is so prevalent in hip-hop is definitely something I believe can be quite harmful to young people, who are most of its listeners. As I mentioned, I grew up in a conservative, Christian family, and drugs were evil no matter what they were, and that includes weed and even alcohol. Drugs are drugs, period. As I heard so many rappers encouraging it, and as I started to see it as a part of the culture, since I was now living in Vancouver, where weed really is a big part of the culture, I started doing my own research. Anyway, I’m not saying I wouldn’t have started smoking weed if it wasn’t for hip-hop, but having Nate Dogg’s catchy voice in my head saying “Smoke weed every day” definitely didn’t help much with moderation. Anyway, this is just one aspect where I was influenced by hip-hop, even though it’s not the main change I wanted to write about. I wanted to write about the aggression and overall tough guy persona that is perpetuated in hip-hop, which influence me to make some shitty decisions in my life. Since I have enough words for today though, I’ll get more into that tomorrow, as well as some later changes that thankfully helped me reverse the damage I had done to my own mind by listening to negative influences over the years.
I appreciate you reading!
rebel eye 