It’s hard watching someone we love suffer, and knowing there’s not much we can do about it; wishing we could take away their pain and see them smiling, as they usually are. It’s a frightening feeling, when we realize just how little in this life is within our control. Anxiety creeps up, the heartbeat speeds up, you feel dizzy. Maybe being stoned has a bit to do with it, or a lot to do with it. Either way, I really feel it, the fear of the total lack of control. Who knows though. Maybe there’s a way we can be in control, with mentalism or positivity, or with meditation and concentration, or with morality, or with religion and devotion to God, with fervent prayer… maybe there is a way, but so far, we just haven’t found it. Although we read stories of miracles in the Bible, or from Indian swamis and yogis, we here in the West mainly live in a materialistic society, where ideas of hidden powers and a spiritual reality are often scoffed at. Whatever the reason for this attitude may be, or its validity, the fact is that when our loved ones are suffering and it isn’t within our power to help them, usually all we can really do is be there for them. We can’t literally take their pain away, like we wish we could if the love is strong enough, but we can share in the experience of their pain as we are there for them through every stop of the painful process they’re going through, reminding them that it’s only temporary, and that this, too, shall pass. When the people we care about are going through tough times is when our true worth as partners, as friends, even as members of a community and society, and perhaps as human beings, is truly defined. We can’t just be friends with someone, or in a relationship with someone, only to have good times with them, and only to be there with there’s lots of laughs and partying. In life, hard times are a given, and it should be expected that everyone will go through them at some point in their lives. If we are committed to a real relationship with someone, as we should when it comes to any relationship we have with another human being, we have to be willing to face their problems along with them, especially when it’s someone we’re really close to. They may not be problems we ever expected to have in our own lives, but the principle is that we can’t turn away from our friends when they need us most, just because we have no energy to deal with whatever they want to share with us. Relationships go both ways, and if we want others to be there for us when we need them, we need to be there for them as well; and most importantly, we have to understand that life isn’t necessarily about having fun, although fun is definitely great. Life seems to be more about forming meaningful connections with other people and being there for each other. Now, everything I write I write as a sort of reminder to myself, so although I wish I could say I’ve always been a great friend I know that hasn’t always been the case. Anyway, we live and we learn, and we grow as a result. Remember to be there for those you love!
I appreciate you reading.
rebel eye 