Featured

1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 72: A Positive Attitude When Facing Trouble.

All we can do is try our best, to have the most positive attitude we can have when faced with whatever obstacle life throws our way. When this becomes a habit, we start to feel that life has much more meaning, we start to see the dots connect, we start to really sense the significance in every word and deed. When we understand and feel that life has intrinsic meaning, it becomes easier for us to make the right choices, whereas someone who is bitter towards life, believing that it is just an insignificant, random thing, and that the suffering it includes makes it not worth living, is sure to make more selfish choices, even if they negatively affect others or themselves. When we understand that everything we say and do has powerful consequences, that every action has a reaction, we will think twice before saying things that are unnecessary or harmful to others. We will also feel more inspired to say or do the right thing whenever a situation arises. This is easier said than done, since saying and doing the right thing often require much courage. When we shy away from perceiving life as the deeply significant phenomenon that it is, it is easy for us to slip into tedious routines, into bad habits which are quick to turn into comfortable addictions. Just because someone addicted to heroin or prescription pills suffers more than we do from our own addictions, that doesn’t mean that we aren’t addicted to TV, or to money or clothes or even Facebook likes. If we are not living a life of purpose then we are only wasting the days away, we are only going from one temporary pleasure to the next, and we are sure to become desperate if these things are taken away from us. Our constant need for pleasure and comfort have made it so that we can never dedicate ourselves to anything worthwhile, anything that requires time and effort. How can we do such a thing if our minds are constantly focused on feeling the next pleasure, on finding the next thrill? Our addictions are sure to interrupt us, and since we are anticipating that future pleasure, we don’t do as well in whatever we are currently engaged in, since our mind just isn’t in the moment. Our mind is elsewhere, in the future, trying to conjure up memories of what that wonderful feeling is like, impatiently waiting for that moment when we’ll feel it again. We were born into this world with nothing, all naked and with no possessions. So why do we need so many things now? Do we really need them or have we simply convinced ourselves that we need these things, that we need to feel certain feelings in order to be happy? We all have to do things which aren’t very interesting at some point in our lives, or which are completely uncomfortable for us. We all have to make sacrifices, starting from the day we set foot in school so that we may learn basic things like reading and writing. So why do we complain whenever an uncomfortable situation arises, whenever we have to really focus and work at something which perhaps isn’t our favorite activity? If we acknowledge that life isn’t all about doing everything we want one hundred percent of the time, and that doing some things which we don’t want is actually beneficial and even necessary for us, then there should be no need for us to complain about anything. Each and every situation we find ourselves in is the exact situation where we need to be at that moment. If we feel that we shouldn’t be where we are, then it is only because we have certain expectations about how life should be, and we feel that if life isn’t up to our expectations then we can just make a different life, often with no reflection into why we might be going through whatever we’re going through in the first place, why it could be essential to our life. Most of the time we only realize these things in retrospect, as we look back at past tribulations, we recognize the specific ways in which we have learned since then, due to those exact situations.¬† We need to be humble, we need to seek to understand, to listen more than we speak, to observe and to wonder, but no matter what, we always have to try our best, we always have to have the right attitude, to do what needs to be done. We all know what needs to be done in our individual lives. It all depends on what is going on in each person’s life, but we all know what we need to do. We all know where we are fucking up, as well as where we are succeeding. It is a dangerous thing to lie to ourselves even once, since we might repeat it, and then we might develop such a habit of lying to ourselves that we don’t even know that we’re lying anymore, and this is when it gets really hard to make the right decisions in life. As long as we don’t allow negativity to corrupt us, as long as we can do good and be good in this world, no matter what we may see others doing, then we will be well equipped to make the right decisions, even when we are facing the hardest of struggles. No matter how things may seem to be going for you right now, if you feel depressed or discouraged, if you feel that you aren’t where you would like to be in life, just remember that it’s all a process. Be thankful for what you’re facing, acknowledge that bad things happen to everybody, that it’s all part of life, for a deeper purpose which we can’t understand. Don’t become frustrated at this, but accept it. Accept life as it is, accept your current situation, and from this day forward, make it a habit to always be completely focused on doing your best, on giving your best no matter what. Watch life change as your mentality changes. It might take some time, but change is guaranteed in life. It is up to us if it will be positive or negative.

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 73.

~ Rebel Spirit

Featured

1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 61: Let Go of What You’re Attached To.

Today’s my second day in a row without bud. In case you didn’t know, I’m a daily toker, I have been for many years now. In the past few years I’ve started experimenting with setting goals for myself, daily goals as well as long-term goals. One example is my goal with alcohol. Back in the days I used to drink way too much, and it was causing problems in my life, so I finally decided that something needed to be done. I didn’t want to stop, and every day it was so easy to just walk on over to the corner store and grab a six pack, especially in the infernal Honduras heat as we getting home from work, no longer in the comfort of the air conditioning. In the midst of a painful hangover, since they got worse and worse over the years, I’d always swear I’d never drink again. I had no need for it, I would say, I felt guilty or ashamed about possibly, very likely, having acted like an idiot the night before, and I didn’t want the situation to repeat itself. No more drinking, I’ll be a new man. These were my thoughts, but once the hangover went away, the cravings always came back. The problem is drinking to excess, but why not just have a beer or two? That refreshing cold taste, that initial euphoria and overall relaxed feeling, they were too nice to pass up, especially since everyone I know from work loves to drink. I don’t know many other people here, but wherever we find ourselves these days, usually most people love to drink anyway. It’s a socially acceptable destructive habit. I didn’t pay much attention to all my promises to stop drinking, but over time I did a lot of reflection, along with some powerful psychedelic trips which really showed me the desperate situation I was in, and so I built up the courage to get started on an abstinence goal. I started out with just five days, and I promised my wife Maria that I would stick to the five days no matter how I felt. She’s not a drinker at all, so she’s always been such great support and motivation for me on this particular goal, although she always supports me with all of the goals I set for myself. Sure enough, when I talked about forgetting the goal and having a beer she was there to remind me that I was the one who set the goal in the first place because I really thought I needed it, that I had been the one who asked her to support me with it even if I tried to back down, and that it would only be five days anyway, that I was strong enough to succeed. I did succeed, I didn’t drink for five days. Then I drank again, but this time I was ready, after a week or two of drinking, to do a ten day goal. I did it, and although I always did drink after the goal was over, I felt like each time I completed a goal, each time I stuck to the plan and practiced self-control instead of just giving in to temptation, I was getting a bit closer to freedom, I was leaving the need for alcohol behind. I no longer partied at this point, so I would just drink at home, waking up to a complete mess the next day. This went away, and the longer my no-drinking goal was, the longer I was able to spend uninterrupted peace of mind. My mind was much clearer, I didn’t have such negative thoughts floating around in my head, I felt less pains all throughout¬†my body, less stomach problems, and I got to save up not only the money I used to spend on beers, but also the money I’d spend on all the dumb shit I’d buy after drinking beers. Fast forward to today, I’m three days away from reaching a hundred days, although the goal is two hundred. I previously completed a goal of a hundred days without drinking, it was my last goal. I drink when it ended, yes, but this time much more moderately than I used to. Now, halfway through my two hundred day goal, I honestly have days when I really feel like I could go on for the rest of my life without drinking, like I really don’t need to drink ever again, it just adds nothing to my life anymore. I really hope this mentality persists when I finish this goal, but I’ll probably do a bit of drinking before I start with the next goal. The good thing is that at least my attitude towards alcohol has drastically changed due to these experiments. As for the bud, which is what I started out by talking about, it’s a bit of a different story. Although smoking anything is harmful to the lungs in one way or another, weed is not really much of a problem, as far as cancer and things like that go. Either way though, I recently started using a vaporizer, but the real reason for me setting a goal of abstinence from cannabis for a while is due to my attitude towards it. Unlike alcohol, weed isn’t really a substance which I’m really looking to eventually remove from my life for good. On the contrary, I love bud and will probably use it until I grow old. The problem is not the weed, the problem is my attachment. It’s hard to admit at times, since we want to continue using or doing whatever we are attached to, but any kind of attachment is not healthy for us, and that truth cannot be escaped. Whether it’s weed, or money, or food, or whatever it is, if we are constantly in need of it and we don’t feel okay without it then we are attached. My goal with the bud is to cut down quite drastically for now, from blazing every day, to blazing only 15 days of each month, so basically half the month. This is the first month that I’m doing this experiment, and I blazed up until the tenth day of the month. I stopped on the eleventh and today, but when it gets to 12am I’ll blaze, and I can’t wait, only about fourteen minutes more until the new day. This weekend is directly leading up to my anniversary with Maria, our two year marriage anniversary, so we have to blaze this weekend for sure, and on Monday, which is the actual day. This will mean I’ll have gotten stoned for thirteen days of the month, leaving only two days for me to blaze, and about 15 days left of the month. I’m not looking forward to those five-day intervals without blazing, but the time has come to begin with this goal which I’ve been thinking of starting for quite a while. I already promised Maria anyway, and I can’t break that promise I made to her, so it helps to keep me accountable.

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 62.

~ Rebel Spirit