1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 30: Hope It’ll All Be Fine.

I’m a bit sick with some kind of mild fever and a jittery feeling of every movement being extra sharp when I turn to a different direction. I had it for a whole week already, about two weeks ago. I don’t know what it could be but I’m thinking I might go see a doctor. At least I’m home and I have my beautiful wife with me. Tomorrow’s her day off, thank God. I also got the last of some real good chronic in a tray, so I’m relaxed, I’m not stressing the sickness for now. I’ve been drinking these pills for it anyway, they really help, but I ran out. Maybe I’ll grab a few packs tomorrow if I still feel shitty. Maria’s cooking up something delicious as always; I don’t know what it is but I know it’ll be good. I need to start eating a lot more because I’ve gotten so skinny that I can’t lift the weights I used to anymore. I guess that week-long fever and excessive sweating had something to do with it. I was waking up in puddles of the stuff. I’m blessed to be feeling much better now to be honest. Health is something one should cherish. I take a hit of the bong, I was reading ‘The Perennial Philosophy’ by Aldous Huxley just now, before I decided to start with my daily writing. I gotta read 17 pages a day at least, of a total of 365, in order to complete the book in three weeks. I’m only up to 150 now, but I’m not far behind. Interesting and inspirational read so far, about halfway through. This morning was great. I had time to pray in the morning, to do my twenty-minute meditation, focusing on breathing or simply being, then I had a good meal with some rice and meat. Sometimes I don’t get so hungry, even with the bud, but I’m gonna start eating more without a doubt, since I definitely need to exercise, and I need to eat good if I want to get fit. I mean, I eat three meals a day, but I guess I walk too much under the sun, as I walk daily to work for about an hour. Maybe my fever issues are related to this. Wondering what to write, I look around and take a huge sip of the big red water bottle beside me, then I close the lid. Water is refreshing, especially when cold. I look the other way, pictures of Maria and I on our wedding day. I think we really lucked out and found the right partner for each other, a great blessing came both our ways for some strange reason, and I had to come back to Honduras to receive it. I look at the time, 10:57 p.m. I should try to live life without looking at the time so much, unattached to schedules and time, yet I have just an hour left to write my daily words, eat, and read a Bible chapter with Maria. I hate to be rigid sometimes, but I really have to work on my self-control. No eating after midnight for me, and I have to do the goals today, not past midnight, entering into the next. Right at the end of the sentence Maria called out to me. In a flash I got to rearranging everything on the table and went to the kitchen to help her bring the plates. We ate a delicious pasta  with chicken and ham in it as well as various vegetables. She made quite a lot of food for both of us, since I’ve mentioned my intentions to eat more and regain my strength to her. I was not so skinny when we met, yet I’ve never been chubby or big. I just gotta get back to base, I guess. I’m really feeling like the time is coming up for me to make music again, to create an album like I used to before. I remember how cool it felt, thinking of the album name and cover, how it would all match with the feel and lyrical content of each of the songs, how they would all flow together. This made me feel alive before, but now it seems harder to write music. I’ve been slowly breaking that barrier down though, in part by taking on this thousand-words-a-day goal. Sometimes I feel a great motivation but then I come down, but I hope this isn’t the case this time. I feel like now is the time to really get back on track. I texted my mom today, who is in Canada, and she told me she would be leaving for the vet shortly, as our pet bird Chico, back at their home, is breathing heavily and not really chirping at all anymore, as if he was depressed. I really hope everything will be alright. There’s another bird who’s in a second cage right beside Chico. Her name is Yellow, and originally we received her, from previous owners, along with Blue. Blue got sick and died a few years after. My mom has a big heart, and it would really hurt if something would happen to Chico. I was fond of those cheerful little birds as well, and of their singing, while I was back at my parents’ home. I hope everything will be alright and that the little bird can heal. I wonder what it could be like if we could speak with the birds, with the animals, if we could understand them and communicate them, would we find ways to enslave them in our wicked system, just as we have done to ourselves, or would we find ways to learn from different species, to co-exist in peace and harmony? Just a thought that crossed my mind, we might be able to ask Chico what exactly he feels, so that we may know if his issue is truly a medical one, or if it is instead a psychological one. What goes on in a bird’s mind, if anything at all?

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 31.

~ Rebel Spirit

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