500 WORDS, DAY 18: Hypocrisy and Attachment to Past Identities

Yesterday I was criticizing the majority of mainstream hip-hop artists, especially the newer ones, for pushing dangerous, detrimental messages in their music, and for putting the minimum effort into perfecting their craft or trying to create anything innovative or original. Today, before we move forward with that idea, there’s something I just have to state and get out of the way though, and it’s something I hate to admit: I am somewhat of a hypocrite when it comes to all of this. Since I always insist on the importance of the truth though, I feel like I simply have to bring this up if I plan to go any deeper into this subject. When it comes to my own music, I can say I feel at peace knowing that I am trying to promote positivity, love and understanding, through it. This wasn’t always the case, but at least that’s how it’s been for a good number of years now, and I feel like I’ve really grown as a person, and that my growth is evident in the progression of my lyrics through the years. When it comes to the music I listen to though, I can’t really say I listen to exclusively positive music, and that’s mostly what I’m referring to when I mention my hypocrisy. There’s a lot of music that I grew up listening to, for example, that I feel like I’m attached to in a way, because it represents a period in my life that meant a lot to me. Yes, I understand that attachment is a problem when living a mindful life, but unfortunately, it’s something I still really struggle with.

As I mentioned in an earlier post when I described my love of controlled chaos and randomness, I feel like everything that I’ve ever done or experienced has become a part of me forever, and it’s never going away. Even as I grow and learn new ways of living, I still remember the times when I lived in completely different ways, when it would seem to any spectator as if I was a completely different person at that time. When it comes to music, this means that I simply can’t leave behind any music that I’ve enjoyed throughout my life. I have a playlist which includes all the songs I can think of that I’ve ever had in my rotation, even if it’s music I don’t listen to much anymore, or that I’ve outgrown. It feels like cutting off everything that was associated with the past me is a form of suicide, as if I would be losing a part of myself, or a part of what allowed me to grow into my current self. After all, life is a constant interplay of positive and negative experiences, a constant movement, one experience seamlessly flowing into the next to create the entirety of a life. Who knows though, maybe this is all just an excuse for me not to stop listening to music I know I should no longer listen to. I still haven’t really decided whether I want to continue living life in this all-embracing way, or if I actually should take some time to decide what I want to cut off from my life, and then just force myself to go ahead with it. I know I got somewhat sidetracked from the main topic, about hip-hop and its positive and negative aspects, but I do have a lot more thoughts on the subject, which I’ll share with y’all tomorrow.

As always, I appreciate you taking the time to read this, and I wish you all the best.

If you have a couple minute please listen to my song “Love & Happiness,” which I wrote, produced on my MPC One, recorded, mixed and mastered. Your listen means a lot to me. Much love!