Today I thought I’d write about children. The question of children is on my mind lately because of my age. I’m 29, turning thirty in a couple months, and my wife and I have been married since 2017. We’ve actually known each other for pretty much exactly ten years now, but we’ve been married for seven. To be honest, sharing one’s life with someone else like we do, it opens up your perspective to a whole new way of life, and even after so many years I feel like we can still go deeper in our relationship. Honestly, I feel like just dealing with all the ideas in my own head is crazy and overwhelming enough, and although being in a loving relationship with my wife is an experience I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world, I would be lying if I said it didn’t add any level of anxiety to my life, especially since she’s been dealing with some issues for a few years now, namely anemia and iron deficiency. I’ve never been extremely healthy, but I’ve been blessed to be, for the most part, naturally healthy, like most of my family, for pretty much my whole life. It worries me to see someone I love so much, someone so close to me, who I basically consider to be a part of myself, suffering from something within her own body, and being clueless as to how to fight it. Even though we don’t have children yet, I’m pretty sure that anyone who’s a parent knows what I’m talking about when I mention the anxiety it comes along with. Being responsible for someone else is something so amazing, but it comes with a lot of pressure. It’s such a great privilege, but also such a huge responsibility. I can’t even begin to imagine how it would feel, most of all because I still feel like a kid at heart myself, if I’m being completely honest. I see some of the stupid stuff people around the world do and I can’t help but wonder if we are perpetual kids, only growing up externally. After all, I’m pretty certain that by the end of our lives most of us are just as clueless as to its meaning as we were when we were born. We started living in ignorance, and we will leave this world in ignorance. Why? I don’t know. There it is again. All I know is that, for some reason or another, there’s a lot we don’t know, and we are meant to go our entire lives without knowing. Maybe not meant to, but possibly meant to, and it’s very strange. Not only do we live our entire lives not knowing, but we are also constantly aware that we don’t know, that there’s quite a lot we don’t know, and that we’ll most likely never know, at least in this lifetime. I feel like the last part of that sentence didn’t even need to be added, because whether there’s another life after this one or not is also something we can’t say with total certainty, so it falls under the category of everything else we don’t know, and can’t know. Oh yeah, where was I? Children, right. Guess I got a bit carried away today, but I’ll try to get back on that topic tomorrow. I appreciate you reading.
If you have a few minutes I’d appreciate you listening to my instrumental song ‘time flies.’ Much love!
rebel eye 