I’ve seen a lot of posts online from people who have decided to quit weed because all of a sudden, after many years of use without any issues, they’ve started having nothing but anxious and paranoid experiences with it, some that have even ended up spiraling into full-blown panic attacks. Reading these kinds of posts has always been very interesting for me, especially because I have to admit that this issue has affected me as well, if only to a certain extent. I’ve previously opened up about my ongoing weed addiction, something which will probably be with me forever, so you might not be surprised when I mention that these days, I mainly get stoned by habit rather than as a conscious decision or because I really enjoy it. It isn’t the healthiest thing, I understand that, although I do have some valid reasons for why I still do enjoy some aspects of weed and why I still choose to consume it. So, just to clarify, it’s not all addiction, but for the most part it is. Anyway, today I was having a conversation with my wife. The funny thing about it is that the conversation started after I ate a 30mg THC edible, but before it actually hit. So, when I started the conversation, I was feeling normal, but in the middle of our conversation the edible started hitting and I started thinking about everything in such a deeper way, which kind of made me go on and on for a while. My wife doesn’t mind, but I mention that just to illustrate a fact, which is that most times when I get stoned, I start thinking very deeply about things, perhaps even to the point of overthinking or overanalyzing things. It’s almost as if my train of thought becomes zoomed in and there are so many possible ideas coming so fast, and so many directions the idea in my head could take, so I start talking and talking about things before they can get away from me, almost in a manic state that sometimes even leaves me feeling a bit shaky by the time I’m done talking. Now, since I’ve basically been getting stoned since I was fourteen, this isn’t anywhere near the first time of this happening, although in recent years these experiences have become more intense and prevalent since I’ve mainly been consuming weed in edible form, which makes the high stronger, not to mention longer. Anyway, the reason why I chose to write about this today is because today, as I felt the shift between my sober state and my stoned state, and as I noticed how my way of thinking and conversing changed, I realized that this has a lot to do with what I wrote about at the beginning of this post, with why people fall out of love with weed as they grow older, especially due to paranoid and anxious experiences. I remember my early days of getting stoned, and I remember everything as being a haze of laughs, of inspiration and amazing moments, whether alone or with friends. I do remember though, that the amplification of thoughts, and how they would seem to zoom in and become so important and mesmerizing, was one of the things I really enjoyed about weed, and kind of what got me really hooked on it. The thing is that, when one is a teenager and is growing up, there is usually much less stress than when one is grown up. Weed is still amplifying the thoughts of a young person who consumes it, but those thoughts are probably bringing them nothing but joy and inspiration, because that’s what they have in their minds anyway. As we grow older and we feel like we’re drowning in responsibilities, maybe we feel like we don’t know what we’re doing or where exactly we’re going, or we might feel like we’re lost and we need to do something to change our ways. Maybe deep inside we feel there’s something wrong in our lives, something we’re not taking action about. That’s the thing with weed. These things that we accumulate in our minds don’t have anywhere else to go. They are inside of our heads; they are with us. So, as we zoom into our minds, we no longer find as much joy and excitement and inspiration as we did when we were younger. What do we find instead? Fear. Disappointment. Disillusionment with life. Regret. Doubt. Anger. Everything we’ve tried to repress or supress from ourselves and others. How can such an experience be enjoyable then? Well, as I type this, I am realizing something else, and that is that weed can actually be a tool in this sense. What I mean is that, if my theory of why weed starts turning on us in the future is correct, and we are actually suffering because of our own thoughts, then technically, if we were able to actually work on, and eventually fix, these issues with ourselves or with our lives, that are bothering us but that we’re choosing to ignore, then we would be able to get high again without problems. What does this mean? Well, to me it means that, the more anxious and paranoid you are getting from weed, the more that means that you have anxiety about something in your life. If you literally cannot get high at all, because every time you do you spiral into anxiety or depression or paranoia, then that should really tell you more about the state of your own mind then about the effect of the substance you’ve consumed. I’m sure if you try psychedelics, you are very likely to get a similar result.
I appreciate you reading!
rebel eye 