It’s a good day. Yes, life is weird, but it’s good. You won’t always be able to do what you want. It’s been one of the hardest things I’ve had to learn. Actually, it’s a lesson I’m constantly having to relearn, and which I’m sure I’m still not learning. Surrender doesn’t make you weak. Life is bigger than all of us, and in the end we all have to surrender to it as we accept the ultimate and final sacrifice that is death. Death is not the enemy though. In fact, there is no such thing. Death is only what we call the end of life, but just like the end of a movie is still part of the movie, death is very much a part of life. It’s always with us, motivating us to live, if only for the reason that we know we won’t have the chance to do it forever; to live. We don’t know what we’re living for. In other words, we don’t know why we’re even alive. And yet, we keep on living. Life is a nightmare just as much as it is a beautiful lucid dream which we can now explore freely, and impose our will upon. We create life, but only because life has created us. Life and death are inseparable from all that we are, and we can prepare for its final chapter by learning to die every day. A lot of people who know me wouldn’t know this about me, because I’m always chill and friendly, but I carry a lot of anger and resentment within me. Over the years I’ve gotten better at managing it, but I would be a fool to convince myself that it isn’t there, and that it isn’t still affecting me in many ways. I have to let it die. I have to let a lot of things die, and I’m sure you do as well. I feel angry at life, at the universe or at God, for example, because like the Nelly Furtado song says, ‘all good things come to an end.” I look at the beautiful smile on my wife’s face… I wonder why we have to wait until we’re old to spend all our time together like we want. Why do we have to work? Why do we have to work for most our days just to live? What’s the point, when I can clearly see that this lifestyle is driving so many people insane? Why do people have to suffer so many forms of injustice, from racism to sexism and homophobia, from religious persecution by radicals and extremists, to senseless acts of violence seemingly committed for no reason? Why does everything come down to money and power? I don’t know. All I know I’m enraged, and the more I entertain these thoughts the more the rage boils within me. I know that the wise thing is to let it die though. I know that nothing is achieved in anger, and that life is best navigated with a cool head, with a calm and collected state of mind. Don’t be angry because you lost something or someone you loved. Be grateful that you had the opportunity to experience whatever or whoever it was. Understand that none of us are entitled to a single thing. Why should we be? What the hell do we know about why we’re here? All I know is that I’m here, and that if I want to experience life at it’s truest, if I want to experience love and true connection, I have to be willing and ready to suffer for it. There’s no other alternative. Everything is finite, and we can only take it for what it is when it’s there. Don’t take a single second for granted. Soon it will all be over, and our lives will eventually be forgotten. All that mattered so much to us, all that we fought over so ferociously, it will all become dust. So again I say, today is a good day. Appreciate it because it’s here. Get out of your head and live it. I know it isn’t the easiest thing to do, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a hypocrite, because I often struggle to take my own advice. I’m trying though, and maybe if you try it’ll be easier for you than it is for me. Even though I’m constantly fucking up, I often get a moment of lucidity, and among all the mistakes I’ve made, I hope that when I die I’ve at least been able to make a difference in the world, in the minds of even a few people who have been able to better appreciate their own lives. Whether I ever know it or not is of no importance.
I appreciate you reading.
rebel eye 