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1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 80: Do We Really Believe in Equality?

Do we sincerely and honestly believe in equality, as more than a fantasy, as something that could one day actually be? Excuse me for asking, it’s just not easy to see. So many people have oppressed the rest throughout history, so they can feel above the rest, exterminate those who they didn’t regard equally, as the rest, as those considered to be pure, to be the best race, sex or nation, could be any kind of corrupt motivation. They say the apple don’t fall too far from the tree. So are we doomed to repeat the mistakes of the past generations, who condoned hatred to the point of total separation? Or can we learn from our mistakes and do better at last? Is it a real possibility to let the pain pass? Can we now keep calm and be patient for a better day, to resolve these tensions in a better way? Truthfully, as we teach the seeds so shall they grow to be, and by setting a good example then they’re sure to follow willingly, instead of wishing they would memorize and live by every word we say. For every decision made in life and every action taken there’s a price to pay. But each person must decide, to live life on either side, of the fence, only you can truly know what your life represents. Do we believe in every single person’s chance to be free? Or am I programmed to be controlled, electronically? Am I determined to make everybody like me? So that they can copy me and try to be like me? Is life some kind of popularity contest? Or a constant battle between nations, endless wars and conquest? Conflict, we can’t arrive at peace so we bomb shit. Then teach the children that killing is some wrong shit, and that violence ain’t the answer. The state of the system we live in has me feeling sick as cancer. It’s too bad that a lot of times this sick feeling just isn’t too strong, at least not strong enough to make us change when we’re in the wrong. We’ve become accustomed to the way things are, and we wish they would stay the same forever, but the fact is that the times change faster than the weather, and tomorrow we could be a much different person than we currently are. We all try to see things as we’d like them to be, but we can’t ’cause we all sing along to a different song, a different beat. We all have our own struggles, all have to stay strong, but in different ways, periods of pain can last long, when we feel the heat, can’t stand up from the hot seat. We can grow desperate and tired, we might try to manipulate others to fulfill our selfish desires. But why should they follow my rules? Why should we live by their laws? Who gets a say about what our kids learn in the schools? Who is eager to answer when death calls? Yet we all must die, we must die as others have passed. Are we just trying to stay alive? What’s the point of doing only that? Are we building a society that’s truly built to last? Or one which will crumble to ashes in a great rumble, or a World War. Are we raising kids who are way too interested in being stars? Do you know if you’re ready to ruin your life for fame? Is it a noble aim which will fulfill your soul when it’s finally attained? Will it take away the pain and the guilt and shame? Or would it be a way to feed your ego, to feel better about yourself, a way to finally put those insecurities up on the shelf? Will it ruin your family, will you still be able to discern your real from fake friends? Will it throw you in the pit of loneliness and cause you agony? You never know, but for the recognition you’re ready to blow. You’re ready to let your old life go, to be better than the rest, to be know as a celebrity, something to be celebrated, adored and elevated. If we are all equal then why are such people venerated? Why do we praise money and status and nice attire? When within ourselves we have all of the value we require? Our body and mind may grow old but our Spirit will never retire. That Spirit which is equal within us all, that living eternal fire, that conscience that strikes the liar, and the thief, the same that they ignore, which is the cause of their future grief. Ignorance, the cause of suffering. Aversion and attachment. Attachment to an image of our fragile body, which causes us to act in such ways that we feel will take us higher than we are, will elevate us to a new plateau. We wish to go beyond ourselves, beyond this worthless creature we seem to loathe, but which we still take care of, day by day, as if life was nothing more than a worthless and repetitive game we play. We don’t like equality as much as we claim. We want to be exalted beyond our petty personal name. We want to be the richest, the smartest or the wisest. In that desire to be what we’re not, that’s exactly where our demise is. Each of us is what he or she needs to be. All of us are where we are supposed to be as well. The thoughts we choose to cultivate can make this life a heaven or a hell. So see the world as your brothers and sisters, not as others, but as extensions of your own soul, there will be sacrifices you will have to make if true equality and selflessness unfold, within your heart and soul, and as they begin to branch out everyone will know that you are beginning to shine, like the most precious gold that could ever be found, a beautiful sight to behold.

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 81.

~ Rebel Spirit

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1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 54: Remaining Present While Understanding We Are Beyond Life.

Sometimes it’s hard to let go of our ego. We talk about it, we say we believe in the Self beyond the ego, yet as soon as temptation comes we fall in its trap, as soon as anger and frustration hit, we are quick to let our wrath unfold upon everything in its path. We lash out at innocent bystanders, we let our frustration get in the way of us performing our tasks correctly at work, or from being fully present for who we live with or spend most of our time with. When frustration is constantly entertained in our minds, we find a feeling arising in us that the world is against us, that there’s an invisible enemy aiming to hold us down, or to bring us down as soon as we make a move towards the top. This attitude, this state of mind, they greatly strengthen the ego as well as our state of separation, not only from others, but from ourselves as well. We are not even fully connected to everything we are doing, to everything going on around us, as we begin to drown in our troubled thoughts. We become immersed in negative thought patterns, in destructive states of mind which we spend more and more time in as the days go by. These mental disturbances alienate us from ourselves and from those who love us. We become defensive, we create a fortress around our personally, around the image we have created for ourselves, since we need it in only to feel like we matter. Our ego feels safe in separation, in our originality, in our brilliance or intelligence, or worse of all, some feel extremely proud of their spiritual progress or status within a community. Spiritual pride is the worse of all, since no one can claim to live a spiritual life if they regard their spiritual learning and activities as their personal strengths, as their personal achievements which need to be celebrated. These people wish to be congratulated for their spiritual success, maybe unconsciously, they might think they are making progress, but the pleasure they feel could really be derived from them beginning to form an image of themselves which is centered around spirituality. This can render a person blind to the facts of life, providing them with a false sense of security. We need to always check ourselves, we need to reflect on our behavior, on our thoughts even more importantly, and we need to be honest with ourselves no matter what conclusions we may come to. If we don’t do this, we cannot rise above our ego. The ego doesn’t need to be done away with, we need to be aware of who we are, what our own name is, etc, if we wish to survive in this world. Maybe we can leave these things behind if we become monks and follow their strict rules, but for most of us reading this, we probably need to go on with our lives, and we cannot afford to completely do away with who we know ourselves to be. This is okay, this is not a problem. Some people try to find an identity in spirituality, to feel special because they live differently than others. This is an entirely erroneous idea, since they are only separating themselves from others. The basic rules of morality need to be mastered by us, as well as basic control over our senses, if we wish to progress on the path of the Spirit. We shouldn’t do it in order to achieve any goal though, this is a path that we walk our whole lives, since it is life itself. Life itself is spiritual, and everything is full of meaning if we wish to see it. We do have a body, we do need to feed it and take care of it, that’s the point of life, to take care of everything we’ve been given. Sadly, too many of us not only do not take proper care of our own bodies, but we actively try to destroy them from within. We smoke too many cigarettes, we drink excessively, we don’t watch where we walk, we get in all sorts of fights, and we live in stress which is also causing sickness within us. Apart from all that we eat mostly garbage and we don’t take enough time to rest, or to truly feel at peace, to pray or to sit for a bit and meditate. We need to exercise and to cut out the toxic things which we put into our bodies, it is natural to have to take care of our bodies, they should not be neglected. Having a body, owning one during this lifetime, if you will, should be taken as the first lesson to learn in life, as it can teach us a great deal when it comes to responsibility. The idea of life is to find balance, to selflessly take care, for ourselves and for others as well, to do it even as we understand that we are alive beyond this dimension, in Spirit, beyond time and space and human understanding. With this firm in mind, we are prevented from becoming attached to the things of the world, even to the things we cherish the most, those which we consider ours, even the people we love. In order to care for them, or for ourselves, correctly we have to learn to let go of our ego, we have to learn to be vulnerable around some people, we’ll have to learn to speak our mind, to always tell people the truth, we’ll have to keep a high standard for ourselves. Attachment arises from ego-driven so-called love, which is more like lust, whether physical or mental. Sometimes we just need someone to prevent us from feeling lonely with ourselves. True love arises when we think about what we can offer others, not about what they can do for us. We must understand that this is more important for us, for the planet and for everyone and everything in it, than our own individual ego, a mere fabrication of our minds, and this will allow us to live life truly free.

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 55.

~ Rebel Spirit

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1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 42: First DMT Trip, No Breakthrough.

I tried DMT today for the firs time. I had given a friend some cash the other day in order for him to get me four acid tabs. Today he came to my house, he bought some bud, we took some bong hits and chilled a bit as usual. Before that though, we quickly took a ride in his car of over to his other friend’s house, it was really close to mine. I went because it turned out that this dude had some DMT, a substance I’d always wanted to try but had never gotten a hold of, even back in Canada. Buddy gave me my four tabs and told me his friend had wanted to trade some DMT for a tab. I asked my friend some questions about how it looked and some other things, and I assumed it was the real deal since he told me it was a yellow powdery kind of crystal, a description which reminded me of the photo I’d seen on the erowid website before. I checked it out once again on my phone and decided to go for a ride. Initially I didn’t plan on taking the DMT at the guy’s house, the guy who had it. Instead, I planned on taking it home and planning a nice trip. Maybe if I had done it this way I would have had a breakthrough experience, and sadly I didn’t. Although the trip was way too short, which was expected, it did get a bit intense for a minute or two, sort of like the peak of an acid trip but a bit more animated even. When we first arrived at that guy’s house I was surprised to see that it wasn’t a party, it was just the dude there with a pipe, taking a few tokes, some open beer cans on the table. I don’t know much about DMT use, although I have used other psychedelics quite a lot. I trusted that he was telling the truth when he told me that the amount of DMT which he gave me was about the same amount’s worth as the blotter tab I gave him for it. My friend wanted to do it, and I offered him a hit for himself, since that way I could at least see how he tripped and know if it was good stuff or not. The other guy said it was better to put it in a joint with some bud, and although I remembered I had actually read online that the most effective method was a pipe, we ended up going ahead with the joint. We put the DMT around the center of it so the flame wouldn’t burn the crystals upon sparking the joint, I lit it and started taking fat hits, expecting to see spirits and kaleidoscopic patterns flooding my entire vision, expecting mystical unity with the universe, ego death, I inhaled as strong as I could and held the smoke as well. I passed to my friend who started taking fat tokes also. Instantly as soon as I lit it I started feeling an energy creeping up from my legs, from me extremities, towards my center, things started to have patterns flowing through them, colors, lines and shades, reflections all looked way more defined, the dude who traded it with me for the acid didn’t hit the joint at all, he was just telling us to stop talking and to let the experience flow. He didn’t need to tell me, I had my eyes closed, smile on my face, letting the trip take over at that point. My friend kept telling us how it was hitting him, how nice it was, a lot of things. A few minutes later everything was back to normal. The feeling was overwhelming in the beginning, and we felt that we were getting way too high, so we put out the joint. I think this might have been our main mistake, apart from smoking it in a joint in the first place. If we would have blazed that jay all the way to the dome, together, in one sitting, without putting it out, we probably could have had a breakthrough. I think I wasn’t ready for it though. Initially I had planned to just take it home, then I ended up deciding to let go into it, to do it and to just be in the moment, in the experience. I didn’t feel like waiting to try DMT for the first time, so we went ahead and did it. The second time we lit the joint, and finished it now, the DMT hit almost the same as when we smoked the first half, perhaps just a bit more lightly, since we knew what to expect at that point. Maybe I’ll get some more in the future, although I’m going to investigate a bit more first, to find out about what really contributes to whether one has a breakthrough experience or not. It seems that it would only be worth it if the experience could be that intense, seeing as acid or mushrooms last much longer. A lot of substances, mostly the psychedelic ones, can be used in a safe setting, without much risk of danger to one’s health or to those surrounding us. I’ve been using psychedelics, every few months usually, for many years, and I know there’s lots that can be learned from the trips they take us on, if we are in the right mood, at the right time in our lives, and if we can let go and stop trying to control the experience, in much the same way as we must stop our obsession with always trying to control the whole of life. Life is unexpected, just like a psychedelic trip, and the way in which we perceive it depends quite a great deal on our minds, in much the same way as a psychedelic trip as well. Do your research, learn what is needed before you even plan on indulging in any substance. Knowledge is power, education is key to correct use of these tools.

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 43.

~ Rebel Spirit 

Learning From the Past: Mistakes are Meant to be Made.

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Take a moment to think back to the past – how incredible it is: the subtlety with which time passes. Take any given memory, any scenario, and follow its consequences as far as you can into the present. Think of any direct consequences as well as indirect, abstract ones. The law of cause and effect is active in our world, and all actions have an infinite amount of effects which we cannot perceive or even begin to imagine. Vibrations are emitted and received by us all, even at the subconscious level. New ideas which we hear and see are constantly merging within our minds, forming pathways to endless possibilities, slowly taking shape, to be manifested at some point, somehow, somewhere. As a person, you can think back on major events in your life as well as small ones, and you can follow their effects to see where they have brought you. Like Bob Marley inquired of us through his powerful music, let us ask ourselves if we love the life we live, let’s really begin to sincerely question our life satisfaction. If we are not where we would like to be and we cannot figure out why, then the answer lies in our past. The answer lies in the habits and behaviors we’ve allowed to be built into us by the past we have lived. If we examine the past and everything that brought us to this point, we can learn from our mistakes and our achievements, and as this becomes a habit we can begin to create change in ways we never imagined we could before – or perhaps we imagined but we dared not believe. Once we have mastered this practice of self-evaluation, we can do the same with major events which have taken place in the world.

Now, although the outcome of this practice is all for the good, we cannot underestimate the power of inquiring into the worst moments of our past, both individually and collectively. We can study many inspiring moments – independence days, liberation days, revolutions, but we can also study and reflect on many unfortunate events which have taken place in our planet, such as catastrophes, war, massacres, inquisitions, holocausts, genocide, natural disasters. We can and must – all of us – learn from the past, not only our own, but the collective past that makes up what is known as human history, of every culture and civilization – how it rose and how it fell. The goal is to examine the past from a present point of view, from your current, more evolved standpoint, after having fully recognized and understood the position of the people of the past, of course. If what we are examining is a past evil, then it must be a perfect example to us of how not to behave in the present and future. We cannot however, under any circumstances, allow past memories to drag us through the feelings we felt during those times in our own lives, during times when we felt insecurity and fear, or shame or guilt, or anger or hate, or unbearable attachment to someone or something. And we certainly cannot carry around resentment for something terrible that was done to our ancestors, whether it happened hundreds or thousands of years ago. We simply cannot get emotionally involved with the past if we wish to sincerely examine it and learn for our own benefit and improvement as well as that of the world and the universe as a whole.

We need to look at our past selves as the ego’s identity at that moment, and we cannot begin to beat ourselves up for what we have done. We have to examine without emotion, frozen cold, as if we were observing someone else’s life – it is always easier to see what others are doing wrong than what we ourselves are doing wrong, quite simply because we are attached to our “life”, meaning our past. We fail to realize that the past is not alive, it is not real. All we have now are memories, stored in our brains – imperfect, fleeting memories. These memories allow us to evolve, to renew ourselves, to never make the same mistake again. We need not look too far into history to see how the various situations of the past, both good and bad, can be applied to the present in some form. Any culture’s history teaches us a lesson we can apply in our own lives, every philosophical and spiritual text is a glimpse into the wisdom of past cultures and civilizations, of devoted and inspired men and women. Like them, if we look carefully and calmly into the past we will probably find that there has been a lot pain. Pain is necessary to toughen us up, and pleasure is necessary so we can appreciate life. Too much of either will end in evil, and this is something we can all find if we look at our past or the past of the human species. The endless desire, the passion and the hunger for more – more land, more wealth, more people to control – is what has caused such calamities as those that still go on today – the conquest of land at the expense and death of innocent women and children, the killing of millions of people because of a disagreement in ideas and ideals, the manipulation of the mind for monetary gain. It all connects us back to now.

Take a look at society and see how the system still embraces evil at its core. In Venezuela the people currently starve and there are simply no basic supplies such as toilet paper. People are leaving and abandoning their children. Protesters have been killed in peaceful marches against armed government forces. People recently stopped rioting in my home country of Honduras, when the protesting created no change at all, except for destruction of public property, businesses and banks. The corrupt government in Nicaragua, Honduras’ neighbor, which has basically been in power for over thirty years is on the brink of being overthrown. Lula, the former president of Brazil has been sentenced to prison for twelve years for money laundering and corruption. Once they had pleasure, fancy cars and clothes, money stacked to the ceiling. Now they sit in jail. Big drug lords and their families are murdered every day. Yet the musicians promote drug dealing and consuming. The pharmaceutical industry promotes the use of antidepressants and pain pills, sleeping pills. While they get rich, we now have more school shootings than ever before, as well as opiate addiction and overdose. Many people get drunk to the point of having no control over themselves and end up killing innocent people when they get behind the wheel. Actions have reactions, consequences. Pleasure leads to pain quite often, and not all pleasure is the same. Neither is all pain equal. Some is inevitable such as the death of a parent, but some we create for ourselves since we refuse to let go of our attachments to things or people. Study the links, the connections, the works that have brought you to your now, the ideas which you have embraced and have led you to this moment, examine the ideas that contributed to the concertizing of those bigger ideas. Examine what you felt or thought about a certain situation or person at any given moment, but do not allow yourself to fall in the feeling again.

Simply examine and see if you were not acting based on your ego, if you were not doing or saying something in order to promote yourself or to brag, or to drag someone else down, or to feel better about yourself, or to belittle someone else for who they are. All of that is ego action, the fake self at work. The ego is the idea that we are alone in a hostile world, and we must compete to survive. It makes us attack, enslave and torture people who don’t believe what we believe. It makes us look down and laugh at those who have less material wealth than us. Only if we remove ourselves from our ego, as well as any bias that might make us agree with any evil committed in the past, or any internal pain that might make us extremely angry or frustrated with the past, can we study the individual and collective past with the Spirit, and recognize exactly how we can apply it to the now.

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Inspired people, the people who have in turn inspired nations, were fueled by the powerful ideas put forth to them by their predecessors, ideas of the past. They mixed them with their own ideas. One example of a notable work of literature which has inspired me personally to pursue my idea of the Rebel Movement is Henry David Thoreau’s classic essay “Civil Disobedience.” This short book has inspired many more people apart from myself, one of the most well-known being Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi, better known as Mahatma Gandhi, who read “Civil Disobedience” and through it gained a deep confidence and inspiration which compelled him to continue his own movement, his campaign of non-violent civil disobedience in India, decades later after Thoreau’s work was published. India’s independence probably would have come about just the same if “Civil Disobedience” had never been written, but one can never underestimate the power of a noble idea, especially if it is backed by a deep conviction that can be proved. Such was definitely the case with Thoreau. He was a strong-willed individual who chose to sit in jail for tax evasion, on the grounds that it was immoral to pay taxes in support of a government which was involved and funding the Mexican War which was going on at the time. A martyr, he preferred to sacrifice his own freedom than to support an ideal he did not believe in. He was eventually freed when, much to his dismay, a relative who had had just about enough of his nonsense paid the taxes he had refused to pay. What a great example of determination – a past act, a simple yet defiant, a ridiculous and brave act, which can inspire generations forever.

Choose any past event, be it a personal memory or a fact that you know happened. Take any given memory, any scenario, and follow its consequences as far as you can into the present. Think of any direct consequences as well as indirect, abstract ones. The law of cause and effect is active in our world, and all actions have an infinite amount of effects which we cannot perceive or even begin to imagine. If you can’t get too far with the memory or event you have chosen, choose a different one and follow its consequences up until you can’t follow them any longer or until you reach the present moment, whichever comes first. This will depend on the amount of time that has passed since the memory you chose to investigate. Try to connect the dots, so to speak, in order to form the bigger picture of your life. It’s there, just waiting for you to complete it, to find the way. It’s simpler than we often think.
We just need to be ourselves. Think about it. All we know is that we were born on this planet, and for the most part, most of us have no idea why or from where we came to be here. However, the fact is, or seems to be, that we were born on this planet, Planet Earth. We feel a certain way about certain things, and we are bound to act upon those thoughts if we follow through with them from the realm of thought into the realm of action. Many of us, however, confuse thoughts of desire and lust for our true desires, our true goals, those which we were born to achieve. We were all created in a special way, in God’s divine image.
As long as we are truly ourselves, and we follow the highest ideals within us, the thoughts and actions that deep within we know to be correct, then nothing can take us away from our true path of ascension. Learning happens from mistakes, so mistakes are a great help on your life journey, as they provide plenty of insight, if you take a moment to contemplate and discover it. We must learn to learn from the past and yet not to dwell on it emotionally or critically as we do so.

In conclusion, if we make a mistake which at the moment we did not know was a mistake, and we had no ill intention, then there is no real harm done. Yes, we will still have to face consequences of our mistake on the physical plane, but as the true seeker knows, these consequences form part of our learning, and are not to be resented or avoided. If we had no ill will when we committed a mistake, and we learn our lesson and incorporate our new knowledge or wisdom into our lives, then we will not make the same mistake. Our original mistake has therefore turned into a valuable experience to us, as it has provided the fuel needed in order to create change, which arises from true learning, hands-on learning, making mistakes. If you find yourself feeling down at the moment, feeling defeated by life and its stresses, just know that it all passes, and life provides its fair share of pleasure and pain, and all are meant to teach us lessons we must learn. But we must make the conscious choice of constantly analyzing and learning and applying to life. Take a second to breathe, and realize that, if you have learned from your mistake, then you are always right where you need to be, perhaps at a fresh opportunity to try again, and to defeat the devil that has haunted you and kept you chained.
~ REBEL SPIRIT