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DAY 32 (1000 WORDS, 3rd attempt)

We are who we are. Just like the world and its inhabitants are all so different, just as there are so many different viewpoints, ideas and beliefs, cultures and traditions, which make up the world we live in, there are also many elements which make us who we are. Each person is a world within his or her self, with many different sides, some of which they may never show the world. We are a product of our environment, yes, of the way we were raised, of all the people we have known and interacted with throughout our lives. Every second changes us, every idea is taken into our consciousness but it is also imprinted into our subconscious mind in some form or another. We are also who we are because of our genes, and maybe we all behave in certain ways because of our shared collective past as part of mankind. Maybe we might even carry something over from some past incarnations, if reincarnation is indeed real. We are all aware of the complexities of the human mind, we recognize this within ourselves, yet it seems like we often forget this when it comes to other people. We see only what we are shown, or only what we want to see, but we forget that usually there is much more than meets the eye. We are born, we live to the best of our abilities, and for what? Some of us are afraid of trying to find out, while others spend their entire lives trying to find that ultimate meaning. We often take pride in being part of a specific group, but we don’t realize that one group is not big enough to fully describe what all of its members really are, only a small part of that. We become entangled in ideologies and make ourselves believe things beyond any doubt, when we really should be humble and understand that we can’t even fully know ourselves. Even with an entire long lifetime, there will probably be things about ourselves which we’ll only understand when we reach a certain age, as well as things which we’ll never fully understand. Life is too complex to make sense of, to apply one ideology to it and to base all of our decisions only on that. We are also extremely complex, and we are impossible to fit into one box, one label. We might feel some way about something now, but as we learn or as we experience more of life, we might come to a different understanding, and this is why we should always be humble and open to learn. Belief might provide us with comfort, but it is often the end of learning, since we choose to close ourselves off from anything that might go against our beliefs. I get it, as I said, life is hard to make sense of, maybe even impossible, and it’s a relief to feel like we’ve found an answer, something to help us get by with a feeling of being in control. I’ve never been able to believe in anything to the point of having absolutely no doubt, because I know that life is unexpected and mysterious, and I know that the more I learn, the more I realize how little I know. Who am I to pretend like I have it all figured out, when I’m just one person living one life, among billions of other people who inhabit the world at any given moment? What about all of their life experiences, their thoughts and feelings? I’m sure that many of the conclusions others have come to from their own experiences are probably completely opposite of what I think I’ve realized in my twenty-something years on this earth, and that’s okay, that’s the way it should be. The beauty of life is trying to understand others, to connect with them, to share what we can and to receive what we can so that we may come to some sort of mutual understanding. In the same way, all of the elements within ourselves can lead us to many different conclusions about life, but if none of them are constant, then are we really the same person at all times? I am no longer who I was ten years ago, or even yesterday, and I’ll probably be much different many years from now. Life is a constant learning journey, and learning from others can help us understand ourselves. We can see the similarities in our differences. The Greeks had the concept of the world as a Mother, Mother Gaia, and although these days we use the earth for our own monetary gain, because of greed, it could possible that the earth is a sentient being, maybe every planet and galaxy is alive. Just like little microscopic bacteria live on us and all around us, and they probably see us as a huge landscape to walk on, to live on, perhaps we can’t see this planet earth for what it truly is because we are so small. Even though we are physically small, we are connected to the entire universe, and our spirit is immortal, the same thing that keeps me alive is what keeps you alive. We breathe the same air, the same air that humans breathed thousands of years ago, we are all connected by invisible bonds. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed by such complexity, and I’m not exactly sure what to make of it, what to do with it all. Then I remember that this is the beauty of life, observing, learning, understanding, not understanding, putting pieces together, taking them back apart, making mistakes and growing from them, failing and feeling the motivation to succeed. In this age of materialism, I really think it would do the world much good if we would all look within, if we could all stop trying to associate with groups and ideologies, and instead look within ourselves and ask ourselves who and what we are. I think if we looked deeply and honestly, we would find a lot of good within ourselves, and this would inspire us greatly to connect with others, to do something great in the world, not in terms of amassing wealth, but in terms of creating genuine connections with others, in terms of being there for those who need us, being overall more attentive to the world around us.

much love

~ rebel eye

DAY 24 (1000 WORDS, 3rd attempt)

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I love to learn many things, and throughout my life I’ve been inspired to learn from many experiences and circumstances. It’s because of my ideas and decisions that I find myself in the place where I stand today. People, in general, express themselves in different ways, depending on their own life experiences, but who can know for certain, to the point of being able to advise others, what the right way to live life is, who can know what is the right thing to choose at any given moment in life. It’s easy to look at others’ mistakes or faults, from the outside, but it might not be as easy for them to notice these issues themselves. For example, the other day I was walking with my wife and I noticed that a little leaf had ended up on her hair somehow. She had probably been walking with it on her head for a while now, but since it was on the opposite side of where I was walking I didn’t notice it at first. However, as soon as I turned for some reason and looked at her straight on I noticed it right away and removed it. Of course, it’s not a big deal, nothing would happen if she would have just kept walking with the leaf on her head, but that’s not the point. The point is that it made me think, it made me realize that perhaps there’s things that we don’t notice about ourselves, yet might be easy for others to notice. Your hear is on your head, so it’s impossible to see it, at least the part of it that doesn’t slide down your face. Of course, my hair is my hair, so I should be more familiar with it than anyone else, yet for some reason, precisely because it’s mine, I can’t see a good part of it, while others easily can. In fact, I can never look directly at my own face, I can only see a reflection of myself in the mirror. Everyone else can see my real face though, even though it’s my face. If I have something on my face or hair, someone who looks at me can remove it, but it’s difficult for me to see whatever’s on myself. You might be familiar with the Bible quote “First, remove the beam out of your own eye, and then you can see clearly to remove the speck out of your brother’s eye.” I love quotes like this, quotes that provide general wisdom on how to grow as human beings, because most of the time we make changes in our life depending on the situations we are facing, and even though we can’t know for sure what the right decision is at any given moment, if we are armed with real wisdom then we have less chance of making the wrong decision. We are always wondering what is the right way to navigate life, how can we become better? We often have doubts and insecurities that lead us to anxiety and indecision. That can be a problem, yes, but in reality, it comes down to how we look at things. Our indecision is a chance for us to analyze the situation further, maybe to seek advice from others who can relate to our situation. If someone has a suggestion for us, we should humbly listen. As long as we understand that we are in control of our lives, we have no reason to be afraid of any words that may come to us from anyone. On the contrary, we never know if a perfect stranger could be the messenger we needed in order to finally understand something we’ve been indecisive about for so long. We should humbly listen to advice, then analyze it to the best of our abilities, and finally make a decision. I’ve received lots of great pieces of advice throughout my life, some of which I have saved into the book of my memory, and some which I have unfortunately discarded and thrown into the trash. I probably could have saved myself some trouble if I had listened to some of those that I discarded, but changes can be both good and bad in the end, in the sense that, one can learn even from the worst mistakes, in the end it’s all up to you. Again, as I mentioned at the beginning of this post, I can not guarantee that any way of life is the right way, I can only share my own experiences, and I know that when things seem completely hopeless, usually that’s when we can dig deep into ourselves and find truth, find what we’re truly made of, we can reflect, we can get to truly know ourselves and grow, and eventually we can bounce back stronger than ever. The thing I wrote about how it’s easier to see someone else’s mistakes, and then the quote I posted about removing the beam from your own eye before removing it from others’ seem to be a bit contradictory, but so is life. We might be faced with a situation where we can easily remove someone’s obstacles for them, but is that always the right thing to do? Do we always know what’s best for others? Could we be doing them a disservice by preventing them from living their own lives and overcoming their own obstacles? Just as I said we should listen humbly to advice, we should also be as humble as we can when providing advice, we should not force others to follow in our footsteps, because even though we may have learned a specific lesson from our own life experience, we may not know everything that someone else has lived through, that has brought them to their own current experience, so we might not really be helping them as much as we think we are. Should we do all of our kids’ homework, for example, so that they will never learn anything? Should we shelter them from the evils of life, so that they will be paralyzed when shit finally does hit the fan? No, we should provide our humble advice, not in order to manipulate, just so that we can share what we know. From then on, it’s up to them, and if they’ve learned to listen to advice in a humble manner and then analyze it, rather than instantly rejecting anything that may contradict their beliefs, then maybe they might end up actually making a right decision, a right decision influenced by you, because you shared with love and not with force.

much love

~ rebel eye

DAY 21 (1000 WORDS, 3rd attempt)

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It’s a shame to see people dumbing themselves down because they are not confident in themselves. Whenever we allow insecurities to stop us from moving forward with life we are robbing ourselves of the precious gift which was granted to us since birth, to feel the magic of being unique, of being an essential and integral part of the whole of life. No one is bigger or smaller in the plan of life, since we are all emanated Light from the oneness of the universe, we are all direct descendants of God, created in the Divine image. Whenever we give up on our dearest dreams due to doubt and fear, whenever we compromise our values in order to please ungrateful people, whenever we choose to do nothing and waste our potential rather than to face some adversity, some ridicule and jealousy, what we are doing is refusing the wonderful blessings which are inherently ours. We must all be grateful for advice from our elders, from parents and wise teachers, from gurus or well-meaning friends and relatives, but we must also use discrimination in every situation in order to discern what, out of the message which has been imparted to us by whoever it may be, actually serves us and what will hinder us if we apply it into our lives. That is what we must preserve, and the rest we can dispose of for the moment after minor analyzation. See, we all think we know what is best for each other. What we often don’t see is that there may be many factors which influence our opinion on what is best for everyone. What one individual believes he has realized without a doubt from direct experience of his own life, by dissecting the events of his life and interpreting the minutest detail, can be the complete opposite idea of another individual’s entire philosophy of life. Both believe that their belief is justified because of what they have been through, both are convinced beyond a shadow of doubt that they are correct in their analysis of life. But both are taking into account only limited data. A person who is much older may have more experience living life than someone who is younger, but do they have more experience being young in the present era? Being young now is not the same as being young was one hundred years ago, or even fifty or twenty years ago. Parents believe they always know what is best for their children, and most times they do (when it comes to certain things), but it is not always the case. Even if a parent is conscious of the fact that life consists of both pain and pleasure, and that their child might become a better person if they suffered through some pain of their own, they will still do anything in their power not to allow their child to experience pain. Such parents believe they are doing the right thing by not allowing their children to live through the conditions they lived through. However, balance is the key to everything in life. A child who grows up completely sheltered from society, locked in his home, and brought up by parents who directly or indirectly instill in him the notion that everyone is untrustworthy is bound to grow up to believe that everyone is a threat that should be treated with suspicion, that everyone is untrustworthy and that the world is a hostile place that is best avoided. Even if this hateful concept of trusting no one is not embedded in the child, he may still be forever shy and terrified of expressing his opinions in a social setting even if he wishes to do so. A sheltered lifestyle has rendered the child socially awkward, a problem that could be solved but is instead worsened since his anxiety levels just keep on rising with every interaction. Insecurities are prison bars to keep us locked in our minds. They are often deliberately placed in our minds by abusive people and by media programming. Girls who are of perfectly good size are made to feel like twigs when they look at magazine models, normal adolescents are made to feel powerless and petty when they watch rap music videos glamorizing promiscuous sex, dangerous drugs and flaunting material possessions like cars, liquor bottles and dollar bills. It is a socially acceptable stereotype that women need to spend hours on makeup every morning before they are free to go anywhere. Is anyone locking them inside so that they can’t go out and interact in the world? Yes, of course, they are prevented from escaping by the prison bars of insecurity in their mind. Some hate themselves and are unable to forgive or let go of a distant past, and so they drown their insecurities in alcohol or heavy doses of hard drugs. A beginning alcoholic has just figured out that he needs to get wasted at every party in order to even talk to people. Having no greater goal in life, he feels satisfied and thus, a life of addiction begins. If he ever puts the bottle down many years later he will come to realize that he has wasted many years of his life, as well as much of his health and money, on petty pleasures with people who don’t actually give a damn. He might notice that some are now dead from an overdose or collision, some are in jail, and some are still living the party lifestyle as if everything was fine, aging, refusing commitment to anything worthwhile, wasting away their potential to thrive, to do something more than just surviving and wasting space. Insecurity is the root of all this. We waste our lives away because of insecurity. We would rather live mediocre lives of transient thrills, than to face the hard knocks of life, to face rejection and ridicule, with the faith that one day we will finally taste sweet victory. Don’t let the world bring you down, learn from your life and those of others, but don’t let all of the information that’s out there overwhelm you and prevent you from trusting yourself and offering the world whatever you have been blessed with.

much love

~ rebel eye

DAY 20 (1000 WORDS, 3rd attempt)

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Life. I feel like whenever I sit down and start to write, whenever I want to get something important written down, not anything specific but just something important and deep, the word “life” always pops into my mind first. I guess it’s because I’m always contemplating life in general, and it’s cool but scary how all aspects of life connect, they’re all intertwined to form one never-ending thing. Life is that one thing, and not only are all of my thoughts and actions interwoven to make up my life, they’re also interconnected with all of your thoughts and actions, as well as everyone else’s, to make up life in general. Ideas come from many sources, and if many people have the same idea or come to the same conclusion about the same thing, then a set of beliefs is usually agreed upon in order to make up a system of thought, whether it’s a philosophy of life, a religion, or a political party. These ideas, along with the feeling of being part of a community, drive these people to act in certain ways, which affect everyone around them, for better or for worse. Think about how the world has been drastically changed because of the ideas even of one person. There’s so much more to everything than meets the eye, simply because we can’t even begin to imagine the effects of all of our actions and thoughts. Every big project or movement has been born from a single idea in the mind of one person, but how likely is it that they knew this thought would lead to such a big thing? They were just having a thought, just like we do every second of the day. Too often we let negativity get the best of us, and we wallow in self-pity, not realizing that these thoughts are opening doors for more negativity to enter our life. We underestimate the power of thoughts because we don’t consider them real in the same way that we do objects. In reality, I always like to say that the realest of things are those which are invisible. Is love visible? Loyalty? Respect? Trust? Joy? These things are invisible, but they are real as can be. The same goes for the air we breathe, without which we couldn’t even live. So, these are some of the invisible things we are aware of atleast. Does that mean that they’re the only invisible things that impact our lives? How do we know that our energy isn’t transmitted to other people around us? How do we know that our thoughts don’t affect our bodies? These are all just random ideas, but it’s still within the scope of what I started writing about, since I simply started writing about life. All of this is life, everything we can think of is life. When something bad happens, we say “Oh well, that’s life.” We recognize that life is a mix of good and bad, and that these things balance each other out. So is life ultimately good or bad? Life is just life, and we make of it what we want. We all have the power to influence the world, and it all starts from within, by working on ourselves. We underestimate how much good can come from just getting our own minds in order, from learning how to let go of attachments to things that no longer serve us, to negative patterns of thinking and behaving. It all starts in the mind; as within, so without. Although I write this and recognize it as truth, I know it’s easier said than done. Life is complicated, and human beings are just as complex as life itself. We all have our own life experiences, our own thoughts, our own likes and dislikes, our own genetic makeup which influences our minds and bodies. We are all unique, and I think this mirrors life itself in a way. There’s so many different things in life, and this shows us how many possibilities are available to us. We should never give up on life, or on ourselves, because we have infinite potential, and the more we realize and believe that the more we can tap into it. I don’t claim to have all the answers to life. In fact, life for me is at times difficult to make sense of, and it seems cold and cruel. I’ve struggled to fight these thoughts for a while, but I know I have to fight them, because I know that the cruelty is not life’s fault. It is the world we have created, a world centered on material wealth, which is contributing to our hearts growing cold. This is not evidence that life itself is cold or evil though, neither does it show that humans are like that. It’s a shame that so many of us focus all of our energy on material wealth, on money and status, when we could make really important changes in the world if we only focused on things that really matter. We have created a society where it’s easy to fall behind if we are not constantly grinding, and even though we might start off just working to pay the bills, soon we find that we have no time for anything else, and since our life barely has any meaning outside of working and saving money, thinking about and spending money, well, we might as well make as much of it as we can, isn’t that right? Maybe we’ll have enough by the time we’re old and have barely any time left to really love. Maybe even then we won’t have enough. How much is enough? Think about that. Don’t fall into the trap, think for yourself, look within yourself for the best of what you are, and find a way to manifest that into reality. Can a single person change the world? Well, if nobody believes so, then nobody will try, so the world will not change. If I try to change myself then I can inspire others, and maybe there’s someone out there who’s on the same vibe, inspiring others to strive towards higher goals than money. Maybe the people I inspire could some day encounter the people you inspire, and maybe they’ll inspire countless more. Everything works in this way, and there are people who realize their infinite potential, yet they choose to use it for evil and for their own material gain. If we stop working for the good of the world by refusing to work on ourselves, we can be sure that evil will not stop working for its destruction.

much love

~ rebel eye

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DAY 19 (1000 WORDS, 3rd attempt)

I’m sort of rushing this because I have a half an hour left until midnight. I know I can make it happen though, so here I am. I’m also rendering the YouTube video for my daily beat, as well as setting up my new Arturia Keylab 61 to work with FL Studio. I basically got carried away and left everything for the last minute, since I was having so much fun just playing on my keyboard. It’s funny because it’s supposed to be the main thing producers work with, yet for so many years I was just making beats by simply clicking notes into FL’s piano roll. Anyway, since I just got it I’ve been having fun setting it up to go with my workflow, seeing how I can integrate it with FL Studio as well as my MPC. I guess I was just having so much fun that I didn’t really feel the time going by. Time really flies, and if things aren’t organized properly it can easily slip away from us. If we really want to have goals and set deadlines for ourselves we should focus on that first and then do other things we want to do. It can be tempting, for sure, to do what we really want to do in the moment, but over time we’ll probably regret not doing the goals we had set for ourselves, so we might as well do them. I guess what I’m trying to say is that long-term satisfaction is worth more than satisfaction in the moment. If we have a clear goal that we know we want to keep going then we should stick to that, rather than assuming that we’ll have time to do it later. I was just so excited finding the right set up for my gear that I decided to leave my goals until the end. Now I’m literally racing against time to write down enough words. Yeah, yeah, I know, it’s not a life or death matter, but you all know just how shitty it feels when you’ve been succeeding at a goal consistently for quite a while, only to fuck it all up really quick and have to start all over again. It can get exhausting. So again, the wise decision is to take care of our long-term goals first. Amazing things require consistency in order to be carried out. Without consistency, everything falls apart before it can even come to life. This is why we must use our time wisely, we need to plan things according to importance, because if we develop a habit of procrastinating it can be extremely hard to break. Not to make excuses but I’ve also had a weird sensation in my chest since the morning, and I’m a bit worried since anxiety always makes me question every small sensation in my body, so for a while in the morning I was doing all sorts of things in order to feel better, so I wasn’t really in the most productive state of mind. Either way it doesn’t matter, because I did have a some extra time I could have used to work on my goals. Goals can only be reached with discipline, the discipline needed to put in the necessary time and effort into our work. Once you have a discipline going then it is easier to follow the road that’ll get you where you want to go. A lot of times we look for excuses because it’s easies to justify ourselves than it is to own up to the fact that we should be getting more serious about our goals, our dreams. I know we all live very different lives, and we all have different things that make us happy as well as things we suffer from. I remember being a kid, it felt good to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, living life in the exact way I wanted to without regrets. Everything changed when I grew up a bit more though, because I started to realize that life is an interconnected web, and that there’s a lot more to it than just fulfilling our own desires. There’s things that require our attention, we need to constantly work on ourselves as well as on our relationships. With everything we have to focus on as adults, it can be extremely difficult to find the time, consistently, to set goals and to make them happen without failing. I admit, sometimes I’m overwhelmed by how little time there is to do so much. Then I remember that time is just a construct, and that I don’t need to stress out about everything in life. I just have to prioritize, to do whatever’s most important first, then move on to something else, and so on. What gets done is the most important, and if there’s no time to do everything, then maybe those things that were left out weren’t meant to be done just yet. If we do something while thinking about the next thing we have to do, then we’re less likely to do whatever we’re doing well, because our focus is split between two activities, between the present and the future. We might already be planning in our heads just how we’ll execute that next task, visualizing it and perhaps getting excited about it. Excitement is good when it comes to our goals and projects, but we should be aware of too much excitement as well. Sometimes what is needed in order for us to make dreams happen is for us to balance them out with a bit of reality. Rather than working with the fruits of labor in mind, it would be wiser to just do what we’re doing as best as we can, and to later do the same thing when we do the next thing on our list. It’s good to dream and to be optimistic about the future, but be alert! Always be aware of everything you can do to make sure you succeed, and make sure to be actively working on these things so that you have the highest chance possible of making your dreams come true.

much love

~ rebel eye

DAY 17 (1000 WORDS, 3rd attempt)

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It’s time to take control of your life and be who you were meant to be. It’s time to let go of old attachments, to let go of all insecurities and doubts; life is simply too short to spend it crying over spilled milk. What’s done is done, it is what it is. I have to remind myself of that every so often, even if I did rap that song back in 2012, ten years ago now. The time is now, there is no other time. The past has gone and it’ll never return. It exists only in our minds, only for us to learn from it, so we can outgrow it. Every day the memory becomes more blurry though, our own stories slowly start fading away as we fill our minds with so many other things, whether we like it or not, all kinds of things we really don’t need. Does the mind have a limit? Does it start deleting files as new ones are saved into it? I’m sure science has some kind of answer for that, or thinks it does, yet I won’t be bothered to look it up right now. I steered away from my original train of thought, so let me get back on track. What I was about to say was that, every day our memories become blurrier, we forget little details about the past, about ourselves. Therefore, it seems to me like the longer we spend analyzing the past, the more likely it is for us to look at it in error, since all the small details are blurred out. We might even start adding in details that weren’t even there. We can’t learn correctly from a distorted image of the past, so it’s just not worth analyzing for too long. At some point we need to accept the lesson we’ve learned and continue moving forward. It can be difficult because, if we don’t accept the lesson, we keep trying to think our way around it to find something else, and we never move past that. Living in the past is a recipe for depression. Consumed by the could haves, the would and should haves, we regret everything that we’ve done, as well as everything we haven’t done. We fail to see that it was all meant to be, for it all shaped who we are today. Whether we’re good or bad today, just that lesson in itself is powerful enough, because it lets us see that, we can take control of our lives once again, we can start manifesting a better life into existence at this exact moment, by visualizing what we want, putting the work in and staying consistent. There’s no use in holding on to past mistakes as if they should prevent us from succeeding today. There’s no use in holding on to shame and guilt, to fear and hate, because we are what we think. As above, so below, as within so without. The true essence of what is within us manifests into our outer reality, so if we’re always thinking about negative things from the past because we can’t break free, then we’ll keep on running into the same scenarios. A simple example is that if we’re in a bad mood, we’re more likely to have people treat us badly. If we’re in a happy, cheerful mood then most others will reciprocate that energy as well. I know this from many years of call center experience… Unfortunately one can’t always be super cheerful sounding, but I do try to at least be polite and try to help as much as possible, exactly because of this, because energy is contagious. We never know how much a bit of positive energy might influence someone else’s life, therefore impacting whoever they interact with in their own lives. It’s a snowball effect, and I’m not claiming I’m perfect in the least, because sometimes I do fail at transmitting the exact energy I wish I always could, so for sure it’s easier said than done, but at least I’m aware of it and of the things that prevent me from being the best I can be, so that I can get to work on those things. Knowledge of self is the key, and the fact is that if we want to make a change in the world we need to start with changing ourselves. Even the best of us have things we need to work on, to improve on. Life is a constant learning experience, and as soon as we think we have it all figured out something happens to make us aware that we don’t. So again, it’s time to take control of your life and do what needs to be done. No more time for hesitating or procrastinating, it’s time to act. This is basically a letter to myself, to be honest, but I share it with the world because I know that the same applies to all of us. We all hold infinite potential within, to better ourselves as well as the world we live in, we just need to realize that, then to make a plan and to act on it, to stay consistent. This will also keep us from dwelling on the past, since we simply won’t have time. We’ll be more productive and likely to accomplish something, instead of spending time reliving the past in our minds, overanalyzing all kinds of situations. Presence is a skill everyone should practice. After all, we are not our thoughts, but rather the consciousness that thinks them, just as we are not our feelings or emotions either. If we can control our awareness and prevent it from becoming distracted with whatever new thing that comes up, that’s how we know we’re truly in control of ourselves, and of our lives. Having a set goal as well as discipline and consistency goes a long way in helping us achieve this. I haven’t always been great at this, but that’s exactly why I know how important it is to be present. It’s definitely something I’m trying to practice in daily life as much as I can, because I know how much stress I can save myself if I stick it out, and because I know it’s the right thing in the end.

much love

~ rebel eye

DAY 10 (1000 WORDS, 3rd attempt)

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DAY 10, nice! Only have to do ten days nine more times to get to a hundred. My record right now is 81 days straight, if I’m not mistaken. This time I don’t only plan to beat that, I plan to go for as long as I can, until the end of my days if possible. Consistency is the key to improvement, and when paired with a constant flow of new knowledge it can really make things happen. It’s always a struggle, trying to find a way of keeping myself constantly reminded of this, even during days when I’m the most tired or just not feeling up to much, I’d love to have a way of just snapping back into the right mindset to get back to work, to get back into the flow of things. Usually if I miss a day of something I’ve decided to do daily, it completely kills my motivation to do it, because I know I have to get back to that point again, if I’ve done it before I can do it again but it’s gonna take me a while to get there so I may as well not even start. It’s a stupid logic, I know, and it’s the main reason why I didn’t post on here at all for 2 years after my Day 81 post in August of 2019. I mentioned all of this in a recent post, but it’s cool for me to recap since today is day 10 so it definitely feels like an important milestone. A lot is going on apart from the resurrection of my blog, mainly with my music! Music is perhaps my biggest passion, and today I posted my first beat for sale on Beatstars, something I should probably have done years ago. I always had the idea of eventually rapping on my own beats, but it’s clear that I can’t come up with enough rhymes fast enough to fill up all the beats I produce. Ultimately my goal is to live off my music, or off of any of my creative pursuits, but preferably music, so it doesn’t matter in the end whether I make money as a rapper or as a producer. I can even rap just for fun for the small group of people who do listen to me, and it won’t matter too much because I’ll be having fun making beats and making money that way. This is what I’ve recently decided, so I’ll be uploading daily beats on Beatstars, as well as accompanying videos for each beat on YouTube and Instagram, and just like this daily blog post session, I hope to be posting consecutive beats for as long as God blesses me with life. One of the biggest obstacles in my life has been that of the nine-to-five lifestyle, working soul-sucking jobs that don’t interest me in the least as a creative person, doing the bare minimum since I know a sincere and honest work ethic is not necessarily valued, but rather exploited most times, and the overall depression that comes along with this type of life, having little to no time to do what I love. Recently, during the past few years, I’ve been making my own time for myself, but not to slack off like back in the days. Sometimes I’m filled with anxiety these days even, because I feel like I absolutely have to make it with this music thing, or with some other creative pursuit, maybe like writing, if I want to be free of this lifestyle. I don’t mean to complain, I’m honestly grateful for all of my life experiences, and this type of life has taught me the importance of chasing my dreams, that the power to make anything happen is in my hands. I pray to God to help me find the right way to keep motivated and to keep putting the work in consistently. I also have to start reaching out to artists and trying to network, but this is good since it’ll sharpen up my sales skills which I haven’t really used since back when I had some other nine to five jobs.

So yeah, I’m super excited to be getting into this new chapter of my life, where I’m trying to move forward with my passion first and leaving partying and wasting time behind. To be honest I haven’t even been partying for many years now, having realized the pointlessness and stupidity of the constant party lifestyle, but I can’t say I haven’t been wasting time. A lot of it has been due to indecision, and as you may know if you’ve read some of my other recent posts, I think it may have something to do with me being constantly stoned, so I’m starting a really serious goal to stop getting baked as much, and it’s definitely allowing me to see things in a much clearer way to allow me to do what needs to be done to start marketing my business ideas. Yeah, it’s true that bud helps me get creative ideas flowing, there’s no debating that, but sometimes with so many ideas comes indecision, when what we might need at the moment is extreme focus on one specific idea, in order to get started with the execution of that idea. Everything in life has its right time, and I feel like things are starting to align in my life. Only time will tell if I stay motivated enough to constantly continue with my ideas, such as this daily blog post of a thousand words, or the daily beat I’ll be posting, but I really think I will. I really feel like this time is different than ever before, and I truly can’t wait to be writing to you all soon confirming that to be the case. To anyone who struggles with indecision, my advice is to simply get started. Start putting your ideas together, and once you do start putting them out into the world. If you have good content, and you are constantly learning and improving, and constantly showcasing that improvement, then you are applying the formula for success and it is highly unlikely for you to fail. Once again, consistency is key. Knowledge is power. Practice makes perfect. Learn as much as possible about what you do, nowadays there’s so many resources out there. Keep on learning, keep on applying your knowledge in order to practice, showcase your practice and your progress to inspire others!

much love

~ rebel eye

DAY 9 (1000 WORDS, 3rd attempt)

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One day away from day 10, nice! In a way I’d say it feels a bit therapeutic even, writing these thousand words daily, I really think more people ought to try it, at least once in a while if daily’s too much. To be honest I think daily might even be too much for me, but I love the challenge and I’m glad to be taking it on, since I feel like there’s too much shit on my mind, feel like I need to declutter my mental space. It’s nice living life as an observer, and writing down my thoughts and ideas helps me keep organized and on track about what I’m doing. If you’re reading I also appreciate you, it definitely adds another dimension to my mission, it feels like I’ll grow my audience depending on how real I can keep it, how much raw reality I can express in my words, how much of my message I’m truly able to convey. Writing is simple, yet it’s a skill one can always improve on, there are no limits to imagination and creativity, to the combinations of words one can form, and the meanings different people derive from those groups of words, which we might call phrases or sentences. Maybe I can inspire someone to write what’s on their mind as well, and whatever they write could inspire someone else, sparking a chain reaction of inspiration. It’s the invisible things life these which inspire me to write, things I might never notice. So many things have inspired me, things I’ve read I mean, without the author knowing I’ve been inspired. We can’t know whether everything we write is correct in every sense, but if our heart is in the right place then we should have nothing to worry about. Expressing our honest opinions on certain topics can maybe open up the door for much-needed conversation about it, sometimes problems can’t be solved just because there’s simply no dialogue to come to an agreement, so hatred and violence continue to grow. Communication is the key to moving forwards as human beings. Assuming we understand when we really know nothing about something is bound to lead to problems if we ever interact with others who truly do understand. This is the reason why nowadays I spend most of my time watching tutorials, learning the ins and outs of the craft I’ve decided to pursue, now that I finally decided that’s what I want to do for sure. I’ve realized that there’s nothing quite like being prepared, and knowing even more than the necessary just for doing what needs to be done. Things that stand out have to be done with passion, yes, but they also need to be done in the right way, and a lot of times being too passionate at the beginning might result in us starting to soon, and starting off wrong. There’s no such thing as starting too soon, as long as we are prepared, but if we started off wrong then maybe we may as well not have started off at all! So the best scenario is to start off early but to be prepared, and if you didn’t start off as early as you wish you had, don’t get desperate – take the time to learn properly and then get started, now that you have a clear vision of what it is you intend to do, which is what you lacked back then, and the reason why you never got around to doing it earlier. Leaning is the key to life, and to every aspect of it. Hands-on learning is extremely effective, but usually this goes along with learning from someone else, someone who is already very skilled at whatever we are learning, and who is willing to pass that knowledge on to us. We learn by receiving ideas from others, who communicate these ideas from us. Every word I’m using in this post is an idea in itself, and when paired with the words around it, can convey a very different idea than it would on its own. That’s not always the case, but it’s a possibility. Over time, figures of speech become accepted as things everyone says and understands, and as our ideas shape our language over time, so does our language eventually shape our ideas. It’s all a cycle; art – or literature – imitates life, and life imitates art, one reflects the other, back and forth, back and forth. There’s not even a need to specify, to differentiate between art and literature, since great literature could possibly be the highest form of art, effectively transmitting powerful ideas to another, or transmitting powerful emotions through the stories of the character. One Piece is a show that does this in an amazing fashion. I’m not really a huge anime fan, since most animes just don’t have what One Piece has, but One Piece has been my favorite show since I was a little kid in the third grade, I’d wake up at 3:30 am to watch it when it came on at 4am on 4Kids, Sanji’s cigarette was replaced by a lollipop. The point is, I got up super early to watch it because I was intrigued by the story and the characters, by their emotions and the dilemmas they faced. They were emotional and complex yet realistic, or at least relatable. I’d recommend this show to anyone, I’ve even got my mom into it! If I ever complete a novel or any work of fiction, something which I’m actually already working on by the way, that’s what I aspire for, for it to be as moving as One Piece, for it to evoke feelings in the viewer in that exact way. That’s ultimately what I hope to do with the lyrics for my songs as well, I despise mainstream rap because the lyrics are fake and uninspiring, promoting materialism and stupidity. The type of hip-hop that moves me is songs like 2Pac’s “Brenda’s Got a Baby,” a story about a young girl who dies to soon after becoming trapped in the lifestyle of a sex worker, or Flipsyde’s emotional “Happy Birthday,” a track he raps about a child who was aborted because they were not ready to be a family, and the emotions that go along with such a situation. We need more inspiration, people are drowning in worthless pleasure, numbing themselves from an inner feeling that something is wrong, because there’ simply no inspiration. Speak up if you think you have something to say, you never know who you might inspire, and just what might come of it.

much love

~ rebel eye

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DAY 6: Cutting down on weed after more than a decade (1000 WORDS, 3rd attempt)

Day 6, I hope everyone who reads this is having an amazing day! Today is a sober day for me. I’ve been trying to cut down on weed for quite a while now, trying different methods, but haven’t had much success. I’m not blaming cannabis itself in any way, the issue is personal. I’ve been blazing since I was like twelve or thirteen, and even though at the beginning I smoked with my friends and just talked and laughed about random things, as time went on I started feeling less and less interested in hanging out and smoking with friends. I started mostly blazing alone, and eventually decided it was something I enjoyed enough to indulge in every day. Music was better, and since I always loved listening to music this was a big deal for me. I could blaze and listen to some beautiful music, some Bob Marley or Pink Floyd, and just look out at the sunrays shining through the leaves of the trees, and that in itself was just such a beautiful moment. I would walk around the streets and listen to music and just feel alive, as if there was this whole world out there, and I was just an observer, observing and taking it all in from the comfort of my own little world within. The people on the street didn’t know I was high. They didn’t know what music I was listening to, and they didn’t know that the combination of these two things was creating a whole landscape of ideas in my mind. Sometimes these moments would inspire me to write, whether ideas or possible lyrics for future songs, so I always kept a pen and notebook handy as well. I’ve always been super interested in spiritual or mystical experiences, and I believe these experiences were definitely mystical for me, they made me see life in a way I never had before and allowed me to just enjoy the moment. Unfortunately, as many stoners can probably relate, over time the magic faded, and it became just something to do to feel chill, eventually just to feel normal. I knew this wasn’t the right way to consume weed, but honestly I didn’t really mind, because I still enjoyed life a lot more while stoned, and I could still function pretty well, was still making music, still going to school and work and doing everything I was supposed to do. I feel like, in a way, this is where weed can get tricky. For example, an alcoholic or a heroin addict might feel the need to quit more intensely than a stoner, precisely because of the fact that the damage being caused in the alcoholic or the heroin addict’s life is obvious and hard to ignore, often they lose their families, their health, everything they have in life, to satisfy these vices, until maybe one day they feel absolutely compelled to quit. I haven’t ever gotten to that extreme, but at a certain point in my life, when I was feeling really negative and cynical, I was drinking heavily for long periods of time, and it quickly started to spiral out of control. So far I’ve gone this whole year without drinking even a beer, and I intend to finish the year in this way, and might even keep it up after the year is over. Alcohol just makes life a mess, no matter how fun it might be when you’re drunk. Weed, on the other hand, seems harmless, in the sense that we feel as if it doesn’t interfere with our ability to live life, maybe it even enhances life. It also doesn’t make us act in violent ways like alcohol does, and it doesn’t create a physical dependency either. What’s the problem with adding some extra spice to life then? Well, weed can definitely bring some things out which might not be expressed if one just goes through life sober forever, for example sometimes I’m more creative in the moment, it’s easier to focus on something which I really like, like making a beat and just jamming until it’s perfect, I know the effects of weed can be beneficial in many different settings. However, when I’m high I neglect other aspects of things, such as the marketing and promoting aspects of the music business. After all, no matter how much I may hate it, it’s still a business just like everything else in this world is. The boring stuff I never want to do just never gets done when I’m stoned. Why would I want to get stoned and try to reach out and market to people, to plan out marketing strategies and budgets, to look into this and that? I wanna get stoned and make music, or learn more about making even more kinds of music! Or draw or something. When I’m not doing anything creative I can also just get stoned and read some philosophic or spiritual books and my mind just travels to faraway places, my curiosity and imagination make it fun for me to just sit there and think. Without weed that just isn’t the same. What I’ve come to realize is something super basic – just like everything in life, balance is the key. As I mentioned, weed can be beneficial, it can help you bring creative ideas to life, to provide a different perspective on things, to stimulate the imagination, and it’s good for many other things. However, at least for me, it doesn’t make me wanna go out into the world and network, and make things happen. Instead, I tend to enjoy doing things alone when I’m stoned, or just hanging out with my wife at home. There’s nothing wrong with any of that, of course, but it all depends on what you want out of life. Personally, I’ve realized it’s time to step out of the comfortable bubble I’ve been living in for over a decade. I know that if I continue in the same way I’ve been living up until now, my dreams run the risk of never coming to fruition, and that’s too high a price to pay for just getting stoned. Don’t get me wrong though, my intention is not to quit completely, by any means. Weed has become a big part of my life, for better or for worse, and nowadays I mainly just eat edibles rather than smoking. Yeah they get me higher for longer, which I really enjoy, but the main reason I switched to edibles is because of my lung health. I know it’s not cancerous like cigarettes or whatever, but no smoke can be healthy for our lungs at the end of the day. I still smoke a joint occasionally, and I find that’s much more enjoyable than smoking every day, multiple times a day. Anyway, it’s tough for me to write about this, I feel like an addict coming clean to you all about my addiction, and I guess that’s really what this is. Anyway, I hope this can maybe help some of you who might be in the same situation. Analyze your goals, think deeply about what you want out of life, and balance your weed use so that it doesn’t interfere with what you really want to achieve!

Much love

~ rebel eye

DAY 5: Eternal Words (1000 WORDS, 3rd attempt)

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Day 5 of writing a thousand words from my mind. I’m glad I’m sticking with this goal so far, it’s only been five days but I’m feeling really motivated to keep this going this time. The second time I attempted to do this daily I got up to Day 81, then when I failed it I basically didn’t post anything else on here for like two years. That was from August 2019 to now. I can say I’m finally getting back into writing, and it feels good. Writing is weird in a way. It’s such a simple thing but it can get really complex. How do we know when it’s good or bad writing that we’re reading? It’s all subjective isn’t it? When is a piece of writing finished? Couldn’t we always find another fancier word to convey our message? Writing a novel is complex, every little word matters, every choice makes a different to the overall story. Writing can be complicated in such a way, or it can be simple. Free writing is basically just thinking, but writing down what we’re thinking, or as much of what we’re thinking as we can before our mind is invaded by the next thought. So what exactly is it about writing thoughts down that makes them special? Wouldn’t the same ideas be just as brilliant if they hadn’t been written down? Ah, but that’s the thing, how would we have ever encountered these ideas in the first place, had they not been written down? Often times I feel really inspired by something I read in a book because it deeply resonates with a thought or emotion of my own, maybe one that I hold deep inside and would struggle to put into words if I tried, so I just don’t try. It’s cool to find that someone else has thought about the same thing as you and agrees with you, even if most of the planet might not necessarily see things in that way. Some of the ideas in my mind can get so complex and confusing, and sometimes it feels like I’ve been going over an idea for quite a while without reaching any conclusion. Suddenly something I read shines a light on that whole subject and shows me that I can look at the situation in a completely different way from anything I’d even considered. Whether it’s reinforcing an idea that I already have, or providing a new perspective for me to consider, it’s crazy to me how powerful written words can be, how the correct combination of words used to transmit an idea from someone’s mind can resonate so much with another person, even thousands of years after the writer has passed away. As Marcus Aurelius stated “What we do in life echoes in eternity.” What we do means everything we do, including whatever we write. It’s insane to think that his famous book Meditations, was never even meant for others to read. It was basically like a journal of sorts for him, he just wanted to write some ideas down, and here we are, reading them and listening to them thousands of years later. What if he had chosen to simply think these thoughts, but didn’t ever think to write them down? All religions have their holy books, which are presumably thousands of years old. What would religion be without those words? Now, I won’t get into a date on whether life would be better or worse without things such as religion, but if there was no religion because there was no writing, then you can be sure that there would be a lot more missing in the world, like music and art, even basic education. What would we be? We would be nothing like what we are today. That’s why, as a writer and a musician, it can be hard for me to write sometimes. For any generic radio rapper the task might be really easy, it’s common knowledge that sex, drugs and violence are mostly what sell. It doesn’t take much effort two write a few half-assed bars about how much money you have and how many women you’re having sex with. Yeah, these rappers are what society would call “successful” and who can argue? They have big mansions and luxury cars, every high school boy wants to be them, to be as successful with women as they are, to have everyone look up to you. Are they properly calculating the cost of that success though? Everything has a price, and everything requires some sacrifice. If you essentially sell your talent and allow the industry to tell you what to make music about, yeah, you will get the financial reward, the peace of mind of not having to worry about money anymore, but what about your impact on the planet and on those who are listening to you? What will come to you as a result of all of this? What are trying to promote with your words, positivity or negativity? Hope, or anger and resentment? Do you want the world of the future to be more focused on humanity, on empathy, on how to move forward and help one another to grow? Or would you rather have the young men of tomorrow measure their success by how many cars they own or how many women they can sleep with? Doesn’t this also imply that women are no more than sexual objects, possessions to be acquired? I don’t think any of this is right, but sadly this is where we’re headed as a society, every day we are falling more in love with materialism, and forgetting how to love and uplift one another. So what can you do? What can I do? Well, some of us are fortunate enough to be able to provide help to others who are not in the best situations. If you have no money though, what’s stopping you from writing? I’m simply writing my thoughts here, just like Marcus Aurelius decided to do when he wrote what would later become Meditations. I don’t know what you’ll take from this post, what anyone who reads it will take from it, but I am sure you will get more out of it than if the ideas were just left to float around in my head. I appreciate anyone who’s reading this, I believe that we were meant to connect in this way. Remember, put your heart and soul into all that you do, and if your intentions are pure, most likely you’ll be influencing the world in a positive way.

Much love

~ rebel eye