Yesterday I was writing about work, about how it relates to our limited time on this earth and how we choose to spend it, or rather, how we would choose to spend it if we were truly free. I think a lot of people would be surprised at what they could get into if they gave most things a serious chance, if they were always open to the possibilities and willing to find joy in things they would have never considered otherwise. In a world focused on specialization though, as well as chronically short of time, it’s understandable that most people would go for what they’re good at, or simply what’s available to them or what’s expected by society or their parents. I understand why some people set their sights on that one path and avoid anything else that could be a distraction to them, and they do end up succeeding much of the time. Success requires sacrifice, and I won’t pretend to be naïve enough not to understand that. Time is the biggest sacrifice, because to succeed at one thing we often have to dedicate our lives to it, even if it means cutting off many other things we might enjoy as hobbies, or other options for creative pursuits or careers, even in the face of the fact that success is never guaranteed. To me though, life just seems too important and intriguing for that, and the planet too vast, not to mention the universe. I’ve worked at a bunch of call centers growing up, doing everything from customer service and tech support to collections, and the number of times I felt horrible existential dread while sitting in my cubicle or little office, or whatever it was, were too many to count, and the result of the accumulation of those moments was always eventual depression, the result of feeling like life is happening while I sit here taking these calls. I finished working at my last call center job a few months ago, but I’m hoping for something different moving forward, since I don’t think I can take much more of that in the future, I feel like some sort of change is long overdue. Then again, it could be that everything happens at the right moment, when it needs to. I do hope for something better, but I’m not really getting my hopes up, since whatever I do, I know I probably won’t truly enjoy it. I’m not being pessimistic or cynical, I just know myself, and I know that I have a lot going on in my mind, a lot of things are interesting to me, but sadly there are no available job offers for any of them. There’s an episode of King of Queens where IPS goes on strike or something like that, and Doug, having to suddenly spend time at home, becomes bored out of his mind and won’t stop bugging Carrie for them to do things together, even though she has to study or something. Whenever I’d watch that I’d be thinking ‘if that was me, I’d have a lot to keep me busy,’ and just fantasizing about an opportunity to get out of the 9-to-5 life, to be able to pursue music or some kind of creative activity full-time. I could spend countless hours and days making beats, writing and recording songs, reading or listening to audiobooks, watching YouTube videos learning all kinds of stuff, learning new music techniques or instruments, or even walking outside and appreciating nature, exercising, swimming, hiking. There’s inspiration to be drawn from everywhere, and the possibilities are truly endless, so you could never say you’re really alone. When you read an old book, you are reading something that was shared with you, you are interacting with another human mind. You are analyzing their statements or questions, comparing them to your own, as well as to your life experiences, and you are making judgments and conclusions. Sometimes ideas can be life-changing. Sometimes meditation or prayer can be life-changing, sometimes psychedelic trips can be as well; sometimes a simple walk through a beautiful trail can be the life-changing experience you desperately needed at that exact moment. Inspiration could even be found in a call from an annoying customer. It truly is right in front of us if we can learn to see things in the proper light, so I would say that it should be our constant mission to improve our spiritual vision.
If you have a few minutes I’d appreciate you listening to my song “somewhere out there.” Much love, stay blessed.
rebel eye 