Day 77 of this writing experiment and I still struggle with a lot of the same obstacles I faced when I first started this. I’ve written a lot about the waves that hit me oh so often that I barely find time to truly dive into one thing before the next fascination comes along. I guess I was following the vision of the writer in me when I felt extremely excited to get started with this experiment. What could be more interesting, after all, than documenting my life’s journey, everything included, in order to eventually see the big picture and see the big, important meaning behind it all? The problem is that it feels much more exciting to think about it, to fantasize about the struggles we will overcome and the final victory we will finally come to know, than to actually live it and to be the main character in the whole thing. When you’re living through it it’s hard to really appreciate it, since it feels like nothing other than our own life, so common and ordinary. That’s where we all go wrong, and we fail to realize that we are in the middle of our own stories right now, and that we will never be able to live in anyone else’s story so we might as well start writing our own, right at this very moment. Right now, for example, it doesn’t feel too interesting to write about myself, even though, if I were to write about myself, I would be writing about things that have actually become extremely interesting and inspirational to me, which would technically make my writing interesting by extension. So, who am I to judge how interesting my life or my ideas will be to someone else? Too often we fail to see the brilliance in our own selves, in our own ways of doing things, and we forget that a lot of good could come from sharing what we know with other people. We are all clueless beings in this planet after all, constantly trying to find our way through the days of our lives. Lately I’ve been staying up all night, for example, and sleeping at like 6am, in order to finish editing some of my earliest completed YouTube videos for my upcoming music production channel. I don’t know how I feel about admitting that I’ve thrown my weed goal out the window, and have been getting baked every day from morning to night. I feel like, at this point, whatever is helping me to stay motivated on making this YouTube thing happen, is exactly what I need. I’ve wasted way too much time up until now, and things are finally coming to a crossroads as far as my personal life and family life go, so I really need to figure things out, and I feel like I’ve found something I’m ready to truly invest my time and energy into. I’m really trying to stay motivated, because, as I was saying, since I started this writing goal seventy-seven days ago, I’ve learned about, and got into, so many new things, and I don’t expect to stop doing so anytime soon either, so I can’t really ever guarantee just where exactly my mind will be.
If you have a few minutes please check out my track ‘Everything Stay in the Past.’ I appreciate you!
rebel eye 